I'm finally able to sit still and have time for myself.
Daddy went home to be with Jesus on Saturday, 22 December at 8.51 am. The past four days have been tiring but good days. My Daddy is no longer with me, but in exchange, I got my heavenly Father with me in a deeper and more intimate way.
There are so many things to be thankful for... it was an ending that my daddy would have wanted exactly if he had his way.
Wow #1 Closure
I am so thankful for the way Father made it possible for me to have closure with him last week.
We received a call on Friday 22nd at about 2.30 am from the nursing home to say that daddy's blood pressure had dropped very low. They got an ambulance to take him to Changi General Hospital. B, mum and I went there to meet him.
The doctor said that he was very weak and asked how we wanted them to handle the matter in the event that his heart should stop. He said "we have all the technology to keep him alive." But it would mean putting daddy through all kinds of trauma. We chose to let him go in a dignified and as comfortable way as possible.
After the doctor started dad's treatment, they sent him to the isolation room. He had pnuemonia among other complications. We had about 2-3 hours with him. He had an oxygen mask, drip and a monitor attached to him. Although he couldn't talk, he was the most lucid he had ever been for a long time.
I knew he understood exactly what was going on because he responded appropriately to whatever we said to him. I told him that Brian, Mum and I were with him. Mum held his hand, I asked him to squeese her hand and he did. His eyes were opened and fixed on our movements.
Later, we thought he was trying to pull of the mask. I told him, "Daddy, that's your oxygen mask. You need that to breathe, don't pull it out ok?" He nodded his head. Shortly after that, he tried to reach for it again. I told mum not to stop him. I wanted to see if he would pull it off. He did not, he merely adjusted it. He must have been very uncomfortable.
I told him, "Daddy, you are very weak. We are doing all we can, and the doctors are too. But it is all in God's hands."
Brian asked if he would like him to read his favourite Psalm 23. He nodded. Brian read it. Then I told daddy that he needed be afraid because Jesus his Shepherd was there with him. He nodded in acknowlegment. I said, "Daddy, you just listen to your Shepherd when he calls you."
I thanked him again and told him that I loved him very much. I asked him if he remembered our conversation last week. I know he did. Brian also thanked and affirmed him.
We stayed around for as long as we could. When it was about 5.30 am, we decided that it would probably be best if we go home to rest so that we could come again to see him. I hadn't slept the night. I took Mum home and then I went home and managed to get a 2-hour nap. I was awakened by the phone at 8.30 am. The hospital asked us to go back there.
I was the first to arrive. I went into his room to see that they had taken off all the life support. Daddy had gone to be with Jesus. I touched him. He was still warm. He looked peaceful. I felt relieved for him. I am glad we didn't put him through any trauma. He was ready to go home. I felt a deep peace in my heart.
It was a while before Brian, mum and Shirley arrived. I talked to Daddy and kissed him as I had always done. I stroked his hair. I released him to my heavenly Father.
After that the clockwork just took over... the signing of the death certificate, the mortuary, the embalmer, the wake and funeral arrangements, the calls... I was grateful that my brother took over much of the arrangements. I stayed with Mum to help get together his clothes etc.
We kept him for 2 days. On 22nd Friday night, we had a small family service. I shared how Father had answered my heart cry to let Daddy a good heart-to-heart conversations. I wanted to bring closure for him and for me. I didn't want him to leave this earth feeling like he was a failure as a man and as a father. I wanted him to know how much I love him and so thankful for all that he had done.
Over the next 2 days, I had many chances to show the 4-minute video that ALC had made for me for Christmas. I was able to share how good God my heavenly Father is. I played daddy singing "The Lord's Prayer." Many people wept.
Different ones talked about their encounters with Dad. I really appreciated seeing Daddy through their eyes. One staff who worked under him said that he was a very nice, easy going, easy to get along with, jovial man. I felt so proud of my Daddy.
Wow #2 A family reunion
Daddy's two sisters were in town - aunty M and uncle D in New Zealand had planned to fly through Singapore enroute to England to visit thier son and grandchildren. Aunty N from Thailand flew in to meet her sister, aunty M here. Little did they know that it would also be the last time that they would see Daddy their brother.
Aunty P (dad's cousin) flew in specially for the funeral.
If Daddy had his way, he would have wanted them here. He always liked the family together. My Father brought them all here.
Someone commented that "this is the most unusual and happiest funeral I've ever been to." She said that usually people are weeping and sad. There was a lot of laughter at Daddy's.
Wow #3 Transport provided
My boss offered to let me use his car when he left for the US. Father took care of every detail. He knew ahead of time of my need and provided me with wheels to take me back and forth to the hospital and later to the funeral parlour.
Wow #4 Helpers and visitors
Many people gave us practical help. Even people whom I don't know very well came to help.
One old lady from my church took 2 buses to go to the wake. She needed a walking stick to get around. Another old man with Parkinson's disease also came. Frail uncle Fred who has suffered so many heart attacks also came. He led the service on the 2nd night. His wife, aunty Pat, also came with her walking stick. It was very touching.
I guess there will be many more things to remember...
