I was a little apprehensive about taking Dad to church this morning. It was his first time to church since his stroke in 2001. Dad loves to be with people. I was afraid that he would be "over stimulated" by too much excitement and interaction.
He was all dressed and ready to go when I walked into his room. He gave me his brightest toothless smile. I waited for him to finish his oats and Milo. He asked where his teeth were and asked if he looked ok. He went to the mirror to look at himself another time -- I assured him he looked fine. He was very excited.
He handled the entire service like a breeze. I was afraid he would break down and cry (as he often does) but there was none of that. He sang and interacted well -- when Celestine came to talk to him, he even remembered her father's name! He sat through the entire sermon quietly nodding to the message. He repeatedly asked questions like who is that up there on the pulpit? Who's playing the piano? I was afraid he would get too loud and distract people around us. But he was fine.
At the breakfast area, he was greeting people and teasing. People were amazed to see him. I took him to his 9214* cell group after he had a drink. He was in his elements and sang "The Lord's Prayer." At this point, he became a bit too much for me to handle as he wanted to take over the group and keep singing.
On my way back to the nursing home, he tried to negotiate not to go back there but to come home and listen to music. It tugged at my heart -- I just had to say, "No."
This is always the dilemma of a care giver. You can give and give at the expense of your own well-being. I was tired (I had spent a good six hours with him the day before, and then another tive today.) I need to know when to say no, so that I would not become too tired or worse, become resentful for having to meet expectations beyond me.
* Psalm 92:14 -- They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green.
