Mother

The past week has been busy with looking into Mum's renovation and move. It's a massive project that will take about two to three months. It's stretching but I really want to do this for her. It's a big move for a 75-year-old.

That are times in a person's life - significant moments - turning points or crisis moments - you just have to be with them. If you let the opportunity pass, no words of affirmation or deeds you do later will sink deep enough to tell them that you love them. She needs her children now.

Mum has lived in our family home for almost 40 years. She got that family nest with Dad with their hard earned money. She saw us grow up there. In the last 15 years, brother left after he got married. I left for the mission field and then later into my own apartment. Dad had to be put in a nursing home, my sister passed away, mum's 80+ year old sister also had to be put in a nursing home. These are major losses.

The human heart is tender. And especially the heart of old people. It's hard to heal the broken heart of a person, especially an old person. They have lots of time on their hands - and their minds and hearts dwell on things. I don't want Mum to feel abandoned.

I've always been closer to Dad. Now, the Lord has been impressing on my heart to make good the time I have with Mum. It's not about saying I love her but does she FEEL loved?

I know since Aunty came, she had been praying for Mum and myself - there are areas that need healing between us. It must be Aunty's prayers for us.

First, a friend sent an email - her mother died suddenly with no warning. She wrote the first email expressing shock. She sent her second email while she was clearing her mother's things. She had a long list of good memories she had with her mother. It made me want to be sure I made good memories with Mum and to serve her.

Then I bumped into TSL whose mother had also died suddenly some years ago. After TSL had dinner with her family/mum, she took a taxi back to her apartment. When she arrived home less than an hour later, she got a call from her sister to say that mum had passed away while she was going home!

TSL encouraged me to go live with Mum. I'm still praying about this one! But I am more open to it than I've ever been before. Till today my friend lives with an ache that she had never made enough time for her mum.

Mum has been in her own way reaching out to me. I see her changing. They say you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Well people aren't dogs. And when God is there, even old people can grow and change their ways and attitudes. With God, there is always hope, and always growth. It is because we are not perfect that there is potential for growth.

Thank you Lord for bringing healing to Mum's and my relationship.

Mother

The past week has been busy with looking into Mum's renovation and move. It's a massive project that will take about two to three months. It's stretching but I really want to do this for her. It's a big move for a 75-year-old.

That are times in a person's life - significant moments - turning points or crisis moments - you just have to be with them. If you let the opportunity pass, no words of affirmation or deeds you do later will sink deep enough to tell them that you love them. She needs her children now.

Mum has lived in our family home for almost 40 years. She got that family nest with Dad with their hard earned money. She saw us grow up there. In the last 15 years, brother left after he got married. I left for the mission field and then later into my own apartment. Dad had to be put in a nursing home, my sister passed away, mum's 80+ year old sister also had to be put in a nursing home. These are major losses.

The human heart is tender. And especially the heart of old people. It's hard to heal the broken heart of a person, especially an old person. They have lots of time on their hands - and their minds and hearts dwell on things. I don't want Mum to feel abandoned.

I've always been closer to Dad. Now, the Lord has been impressing on my heart to make good the time I have with Mum. It's not about saying I love her but does she FEEL loved?

I know since Aunty came, she had been praying for Mum and myself - there are areas that need healing between us. It must be Aunty's prayers for us.

First, a friend sent an email - her mother died suddenly with no warning. She wrote the first email expressing shock. She sent her second email while she was clearing her mother's things. She had a long list of good memories she had with her mother. It made me want to be sure I made good memories with Mum and to serve her.

Then I bumped into TSL whose mother had also died suddenly some years ago. After TSL had dinner with her family/mum, she took a taxi back to her apartment. When she arrived home less than an hour later, she got a call from her sister to say that mum had passed away while she was going home!

TSL encouraged me to go live with Mum. I'm still praying about this one! But I am more open to it than I've ever been before. Till today my friend lives with an ache that she had never made enough time for her mum.

Mum has been in her own way reaching out to me. I see her changing. They say you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Well people aren't dogs. And when God is there, even old people can grow and change their ways and attitudes. With God, there is always hope, and always growth. It is because we are not perfect that there is potential for growth.

Thank you Lord for bringing healing to Mum's and my relationship.

Free swim

It's been at least six months since I last went for a swim. Finally all the elements were right to go for a swim -- good weather and an appointmentless evening. There was no excuse not to go.

I thought I'd do ten laps instead of my usual 20. But the water felt sooooo good. I ended up doing 20 - non-stop.

Anyway, on my 19th lap, I notice a round thing at the bottom of the pool. I swam to the bottom... it was a $1 coin. Yaay! The $1 paid for my entrance fee to the pool :-) It was like a reward for doing my 20 laps.

I hope all that is an incentive to start my exercise routine again.

I'm glad I gave it time

I am in a habit of reading a Proverb a day. Today is the 17th. I was supposed to read Proverbs 17, but the Lord led me to read Proverbs 16 as well since I had missed my reading yesterday.

I already had a lot of yellow highlights on the passage from my previous readings. It would have been easy to give a cursory glance and skip it altogether. I'm glad gave it time. These are some things Father spoke to me this morning...

v2 We can always "prove" that we are right, but is the Lord convinced?"
Am I rationalising what I am doing?
Angel are you listening to Me?

v6 Iniquity is atoned by mercy and truth; evil is avoided by reverence for God.
My past sins have been paid for by Father's mercy.
Potential future sins can be avoided if I have fear for God. Do you fear me Princess?

v7 When a man is trying to please God, God makes even his worst enemies to be at peace with him.
Angel, if you are trying to please me, I will take charge and bring resolution to even the most unmanageable people and situations.
Father, please help me to please You. Please help me to WANT to please You.

v8 A little, gained honestly, is better than a great wealth gotten by dishonest gain.
It is better to be deprived than to do what dishonours Father.

v10 God will help the king to judge the people fairly, there need be no mistakes.
Angel, you don't have to be paranoid about making mistakes, I will help you.

v12 It is a horrible thing for a king to do evil. His right to rule depends on his fairness.
Angel, I've put you in a place of authority, now don't abuse it! Your right to stay in that position is dependent on your doing right. Don't blow it!

v17 The path of the godly leads away from evil; he who follows that path is safe.
Princess, the sure way to keep safe is to keep on the godly path.

v20 God blesses those who obey Him; happy the man who puts his trust in the Lord.
Obey me Angel.
I will take care of You. Trust me. Don't go off in tangent attempting to meet your needs in your own way.

v22 Wisdom is fountain of life to those possessing it, but a fool's burden is his folly.
Don't be stupid.

Definitions of folly...
- A lack of good sense, understanding, or foresight.
- An act or instance of foolishness: regretted the follies of his youth.
- A costly undertaking having an absurd or ruinous outcome.
- Perilously or criminally foolish action.
- Evil; wickedness.
- Lewdness; lasciviousness.

v25 Before every man lies a wide and pleasant road he thinks is right, but its ends in death.
Watch where you are going Angelv27a Idle hands are the devil's workshop.
Keep busy for the right things.

v29 Wickedness loves company -- and leads others into sin.
Beware your power to influence Angel. Don't bring others down with your folly.

v32b It is better to have self-control than to control an army.
Manage yourself Angel.

Loving God

What an appropriate word from Streams in the Desert this morning...

Are you able to say, from the acquaintance you have made with God, that He is a lovely Being? If not, let me affectionately entreat you to ask God to bring you to this, that you may admire His gentleness and kindness, that you may be able to say how good He is, and what a delight it is to the heart of God to do good to His children.

My prayer for the gals and myself often is that we would know the love of the Father deeply and love Him so that all other loves pales by far compared to Him.

Part of a miracle

Beep Beep!
Was woken up at 7.36 am by the beep beep of my cellphone...

"Hi Angel. This is GL. Can you provide me with your bank account number and bank name. KT and I would like to give you a gift."

It's really nice to be remembered.

Picked up my Streams in the Desert to spend time with Father... The reading really spoke to me. Some old issues had crept back again - I thought I had them under wraps. What a timely and personal word from Father...

God Permits Temptation
By Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

"And Jesus being full of the Holy Ghost returned from Jordan, and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being forty days tempted of the devil" (Luke 4:1-2).

Jesus was full of the Holy Ghost, and yet He was tempted. Temptation often comes upon a man with its strongest power when he is nearest to God. As someone has said, "The devil aims high." He got one apostle to say he did not even know Christ...

If a man has much of the Spirit of God, he will have great conflicts with the tempter. God permits temptation because it does for us what the storms do for the oaks--it roots us; and what the fire does for the paintings on the porcelain--it makes them permanent.

You never know that you have a grip on Christ, or that He has a grip on you, as well as when the devil is using all his force to attract you from Him; then you feel the pull of Christ's right hand. --Selected

Extraordinary afflictions are not always the punishment of extraordinary sins, but sometimes the trial of extraordinary graces. God hath many sharp-cutting instruments, and rough files for the polishing of His jewels; and those He especially loves, and means to make the most resplendent, He hath oftenest His tools upon. --Archbishop Leighton

It sure made my heart feel at rest. For a while I was feeling disheartened wondering why these old thoughts and ways were creeping up again. It felt like I was losing the battle and there were more failures up ahead for me. My Father is completely aware of me!

Part of a miracle
I had a medical check up at 12.20 pm at TTSH. I thought I would go to the office to get a few things done and then be off for my check up. Then I remembered that LL and her two daughters were leaving for New Zealand to see JJ. So I decided to give her a call to wish her happy trip.

Found out that she had made a blunder with her tickets. Anyway, the long and short of it, I spent the entire time calling back and forth my friend in the airlines and her to remedy the situation. The Lord did a miracle. I'll post LL's side of the story later.

It felt good to be a part of the miracle.

Good News
I sent out several emails to friends and contacts from the Writer Circle and the National Library Board for advise on how to proceed with publishing. I got very quick replies and phone calls...

The Director at the Society of Writers Singapore said he could look into getting a review done for me in their newsletter. My friend from the NLB connected me with her colleague. Another person linked me to a list of resources on the website.

Sandy emailed to give some information and insight on the subject of my book.

Jim, the one who got me on the book project wrote, "I'm also through reading it - very absorbing indeed. You've done a great job -- it has been a long time since I read a missionary biography like this."

It means a lot to hear from Jim. I felt affirmed that I had lived up to what he believed I could do. Praise God indeed.

At the doctor's
My doctor's more like a friend than just my doctor. He was the one who took care of my sister for many years, right up to the point when the Lord took her home.

Anyway Dr. LKP said didn't think I had anything to worry about - he seems to think it's all just over strain and muscle pull and nothing else. He gave me a generous supply of medication. I really appreciated how he is so warm and caring and personal.

I tried to meet up with a new contact but she wasn't available. I had told the Lord that I was tired but that I would be available for whatever He wanted me to do. I was glad that He let me rest instead of having to meet her.

Today has been a good day. Thank you Jesus.

God sends Angels and men to help us!

From: LL
Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 2:54:27 PM
Subject: God sends Angels and men to help us!

Hi all,

This morning my two daughters and I were supposed to fly to Auckland to see JJ in NZ. However, due to a grave oversight, Bernard and I left our passports at the Philippine Embassy yesterday where we had gone to apply for visas for our mission trip to the Philippines in May. Because the processing was supposed to take a few days, we had to leave our passports there, forgetting that we needed the passports today for NZ!

At midnight last night when I was about to pack my personal bag, I realised our passports were missing. Then it dawned on me that we had left them at the Embassy earlier that morning. Now, the tickets I had bought were promotion tickets that didn't allow refunds nor transfers nor postponements. So my family knew that we were staring at a huge $2800 loss if we didn't start praying and moving.

After praying, I called airline Reservations, but instead of telling me to cancel the reservations and suffer the loss, they told me to call a senior manager the next morning at 8.30 to appeal for a postponement, which gave me some hope.

So after praying, I called in the morning, knowing that since my flight is at 8.50 am, I would have missed the flight. (Thankfully, the airline allowed PY to fly alone, although our tickets were group tickets). When I finally got through to an officer, I was told to write an email to put in my request for postponement instead!

Later today, I found out that these instructions were wrong, and they were going to cost me $150x3pp as no-show fee. They should have told me to just cancel the reservations first, and then appeal for postponement.

Just when I was getting discouraged about the whole matter, a good friend whose name is Angel called to say good bye. I told her I had already missed my flight! Immediately, she called a friend working in airlines for help.

This friend had to ask another friend's husband for help. They advised me to go down to the ticket office and handle it in person, appealing for the postponement. And once there, if I needed further help, they would try to intervene although they were not in the correct department to do so.

Throughout the whole morning, I had alerted some of you to pray for God's favour to be with us as we appealed for the postponement. Indeed God answered the prayer more than we asked for because they also waived the $212x3pp fare increase for flying on a different day on a promotion ticket.

But when I asked them to waive the no-show fee of $150x3pp because I received the wrong instructions twice, they were not willing to. The reservations officer said that my two phone calls and email were not registered on her system, so I had no evidence to show that I had received the wrong advice. I didn't know the names of the people I spoke to either.

Usually, I would accept that as final. But this morning, I felt an urge to ask again if they would waive the fee because I had been misled. Surprisingly, the reservations officer said she'll ask her manager to look into it as she did not have the authority to waive this.

That's when I prayed some more and messaged my friend Angel that I may need her friend's friend's husband's (!) intervention, but I didn't want them to get into trouble if this was going beyond their boundaries.

I didn't get any answer from them, but it turned out that they did help quietly because they felt that it was not fair for me to pay the additional amount of $450 when I had received the wrong advice from the Helpline. All this was handled at the managerial level. However, I still had to pay the much smaller sum of $75x3pp for the administration charge of reissuing me new tickets.

I am truly relieved and grateful to our watchful, faithful and loving Heavenly Father for sending an Angel to call me this morning which enabled my family to not lose $2800 (tickets), $636 (fare increase)+$450 (no-show fee). He is so gracious to cover over our mistakes and weaknesses.

He had assured me during quiet time early this morning from Isa 57:2 "Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death". Indeed, my family was feeling peaceful as we went through this process even though we knew we could not afford such huge money losses that would eat into our daily needs.

Thank you too to those who walked with us in prayer throughout this exciting morning. Your faith added to ours and the Lord heard and answered from heaven. Praise be to Him who loves us with an everlasting love.

It's approved!

Had a staff prayer meeting today. I was impressed again that when we come to the Father, we MUST mean business with Him and not play games with Him.

Do I come to Him expecting that He hears and answers me?

Today, I shared that thought with the staff. I also requested that they go to Father asking that He move the Ministry of Manpower to release the employment pass for my new staff. We were supposed to get a reply a week ago, but every day, we got the answer, "Under review."

The staff prayed.

At 7.30 pm, I got an sms from KS, my administrator. He said, "it's been approved!"

Wow... another "Aunty" miracle :-)

Writer's nightmare -- almost

My angel must certainly be working very hard to look after me.

I was backing up the script of my book... I overwrote the new one with the old one. You can imagine my shock and panic when I opened the document to discover the mistake!

I ran through the document - praise God it wasn't a very old version. I just needed to back track a little bit and tweak it again. It's a bad idea to overwork when you are tired!

Thank you Jesus!
P.S. I could do with a good massage - my whole body aches.

The result of what You are doing!

38,270 words...

• 20 chapters
• 20 vignettes
• 1 author's foreword
• 1 timeline
• 1 synopsis

WOW! Finished. The writing is done.

“All that we have accomplished
is the results of what You are doing.”
(Isaiah 26:12, TEV).

Still to do...

• Editing and feedback
• 3 maps
• Undetermined number of photos and illustrations
• Cover design and layout
• Publishing and distribution
  

What an exhilarating journey! Thank you Father.

Stop playing games

I was struck by today's reading from Streams in the Desert.

When we pray, we MUST expect to get answers from Father.

__________________
Waiting and Working

"I will stand upon my watch, and set me upon the tower, and will watch to see what he will say unto me" (Hab. 2: 1).

There is no waiting on God for help, and there is no help from God, without watchful expectation on our part. If we ever fail to receive strength and defense from Him, it is because we are not on the outlook for it. Many a proffered succour from heaven goes past us, because we are not standing on our watch-tower to catch the far-off indications of its approach, and to fling open the gates of our heart for its entrance. He whose expectation does not lead him to be on the alert for its coming will get but little. Watch for God in the events of your life.

The old homely proverb says: "They that watch for Providence will never want a providence to watch for," and you may turn it the other way and say, "They that do not watch for providences will never have a providence to watch for." Unless you put out your water-jars when it rains you will catch no water.

We want to be more business-like and use common sense with God in pleading promises. If you were to go to one of the banks, and see a man go in and out and lay a piece of paper on the table, and take it up again and nothing more--if he did that several times a day, I think there would soon be orders to keep the man out.

Those men who come to the bank in earnest present their checks, they wait until they receive their gold, and then they go; but not without having transacted real business.

They do not put the paper down, speak about the excellent signature, and discuss the excellent document; but they want their money for it, and they are not content without it. These are the people who are always welcome at the bank, and not triflers. Alas, a great many people play at praying. They do not expect God to give them an answer, and thus they are mere triflers. Our Heavenly Father would have us do real business with Him in our praying. --C. H. Spurgeon

"Thine expectation shall not be cut off."