Well trained

Today has been an absolutely fabulous day... tiring but just fabulous.

Encouraged
Had breakfast with Sandy my writer-mentor from NZ. This time last year, he was still recuperating from the most severe form of colon cancer. You would not be able to tell looking at how he's been running around. We had a wonderful time catching up. He is in SG to help me to edit my book. We have till Friday.

He's only about 20 more pages to go with the editing. I saw the corrections he made - not that many! Just grammatical errors, minor oversights and suggestions on how to make it better - we had another round of interesting discussion about Standard English and Singlish.

But NO major corrections - the flow was good, the story compelling, every chapter he said had something in it - he wanted to read on. He said it was easy reading. Oh it was SO encouraging. Everything I had aimed to do for the writing, by God's grace, I was able to accomplish. SF affirmed from what he read how obvious it is that God is in the whole writing process.

I am absolutely pooped right now, but SO delighted to hear all that from my mentor whom I dearly admire and love.

Well trained
I decided to take a 40-minute stroll home from the office -- the second time I've done that this week. It was good to relax my mind after the intense day of writing and thinking.

I enjoyed the walk along the canal in the cool of the evening. I watched people walk, cycle, jog. I smiled when as I watched one dog take its owner for a walk :-)

Another lady (she looked in her 40s) was talking loudly but affectionately to her dog:
"Lass, you're supposed to be walking on my left not my right! Where are you walking?"
She scooted herself to the right side of the dog (so that Lass was now indeed on her left), then she proudly said to Lass, "That's a good girl!" She was really proud of her dog.

I thought, what a well trained owner!

Well anyway, I just wanted to put it down for the record how fabulous a day it has been.

Not working... hmmm...

If you think that meeting an angel ended of my series of mishaps, think again!

My colleague David let me have use of his car while he's out of town. He was not able to pass me the car keys personally, so he left the keys on my desk with a note saying, "don't use the alarm. it's not working. just use the manual lock."

Anyway, I didn't use the alarm that's not working. I used the manual lock like he told me. This evening however, I dropped the keys and heard a beep sound which I didn't pay any attention to. Later when I went to open the locked car door, the alarm that was not working beeped and buzzed and rang and screeched and the lights flashed... oh may goodness, I woke the half if not the entire neighbourhood! Was I in a frenzy to find some magic button that would shut it off. It was LOUD!

Then praise God, it stopped making all the noises. But when I touched the door, or something, it started all over again. The alarm that was not working worked. Then after what seemed like forever, it stopped.

The car door was ajar. I didn't dare touch anything any more.

I called my poor brother again. He couldn't help much except to tell me to look for a red button to turn it off, which I never found. I call MM and he said exactly the SAME thing that my brother told me.

Whatever it was, the alarm did stop. It's been more than a hour since it happened. I managed to drive back to my HDB parking lot. But I'm still shaking and VERY anxious that the alarm that's not working should start buzzing and screeching all over again tomorrow morning when I turn it on at 7 am to go to the office.

Oh goodness!

But I'm too young!

When I came back from the mission field eight years ago, I was reassigned to handle communications. I squirmed and fussed because I felt I was being side-lined. I knew that God had given me a gift in writing but I wanted to do it when I was OLD. I said, "But I'm too young!"

I said that writers sit behind the desk and write. I said I still have the energy to run and do the ministry. I said let me do it when I am old. I said I didn't have enough life experiences to write about.

But I was sure that writing was what He wanted me to do. So out of reluctant obedience, I said, "Yes."

How wrong I was to think that writers sit behind the desk!

Writers go chasing after stories.

• They meet people.
• They draw people out to talk and make them see and feel things they had never seen or felt.
• They pull things together and make sense of a jig-saw puzzle.
• They observe and listen and see things other people don't.
• They crystalise concepts and ideas.
• They make the unseen seen.
• Writers need a lot of passion and energy.
• Writers are not OLD!

I love what I'm doing!

"Lord, I'm so sorry I stomped and kicked and fussed. I'm so glad I listened to you. How good life is when we obey You."

5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16

But I'm too young!

When I came back from the mission field eight years ago, I was reassigned to handle communications. I squirmed and fussed because I felt I was being side-lined. I knew that God had given me a gift in writing but I wanted to do it when I was OLD. I said, "But I'm too young!"

I said that writers sit behind the desk and write. I said I still have the energy to run and do the ministry. I said let me do it when I am old. I said I didn't have enough life experiences to write about.

But I was sure that writing was what He wanted me to do. So out of reluctant obedience, I said, "Yes."

How wrong I was to think that writers sit behind the desk!

Writers go chasing after stories.

• They meet people.
• They draw people out to talk and make them see and feel things they had never seen or felt.
• They pull things together and make sense of a jig-saw puzzle.
• They observe and listen and see things other people don't.
• They crystalise concepts and ideas.
• They make the unseen seen.
• Writers need a lot of passion and energy.
• Writers are not OLD!

I love what I'm doing!

"Lord, I'm so sorry I stomped and kicked and fussed. I'm so glad I listened to you. How good life is when we obey You."

5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Psalm 16

God's Timing

How appropriate today's reading is...

God's Timing
By Mrs. Charles E. Cowman
Streams in the Desert

"And when forty years were expired, there appeared to him in the wilderness of Mount Sinai an angel of the Lord in a flame of fire in a bush… saying… I have seen the affliction of my people which is in Egypt, and I have heard their groaning, and am come down to deliver them. And now come, I will send thee into Egypt" (Acts 7:30, 32, 34).

That was a long wait in preparation for a great mission. When God delays, He is not inactive. He is getting ready His instruments, He is ripening our powers; and at the appointed moment we shall arise equal to our task. Even Jesus of Nazareth was thirty years in privacy, growing in wisdom before He began His work. --Dr. Jowett

God is never in a hurry but spends years with those He expects to greatly use. He never thinks the days of preparation too long or too dull.

The hardest ingredient in suffering is often time. A short, sharp pang is easily borne, but when a sorrow drags its weary way through long, monotonous years, and day after day returns with the same dull routine of hopeless agony, the heart loses its strength, and without the grace of God, is sure to sink into the very sullenness of despair.

Joseph's was a long trial, and God often has to burn His lessons into the depths of our being by the fires of protracted pain. "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver," but He knows how long, and like a true goldsmith He stops the fires the moment He sees His image in the glowing metal.

We may not see now the outcome of the beautiful plan which God is hiding in the shadow of His hand; it yet may be long concealed; but faith may be sure that He is sitting on the throne, calmly waiting the hour when, with adoring rapture, we shall say, "All things have worked together for good."

Like Joseph, let us be more careful to learn all the lessons in the school of sorrow than we are anxious for the hour of deliverance. There is a "need-be" for every lesson, and when we are ready, our deliverance will surely come, and we shall find that we could not have stood in our place of higher service without the very things that were taught us in the ordeal.

God is educating us for the future, for higher service and nobler blessings; and if we have the qualities that fit us for a throne, nothing can keep us from it when God's time has come. Don't steal tomorrow out of God's hands. Give God time to speak to you and reveal His will. He is never too late; learn to wait. --Selected

"He never comes too late; He knoweth what is best; Vex not thyself in vain; until He cometh--REST."

Do not run impetuously before the Lord; learn to wait His time: the minute-hand as well as the hour-hand must point the exact moment for action.

Day 10 (Wednesday, 15 March)

Last tour
I didn't have any time to do any sight seeing. The only photos I took were ones I took while the car was taking me from one place to another. My purpose this trip was to write - and that was all I did. I didn't tour the place, nothing.

Aunty asked her nephew, our driver to take a quick tour of the places mentioned in her story. Her first flat, the university, etc. I was glad to see what I wrote about :-) She insisted we go quickly to the central market to get a few blouses for me. I got three :-) We got lost and had to pray we could find Aunty's nephew who was waiting in the car. I didn't want to miss my flight!

We stopped at Aunty's niece house briefly to do a quick interview for one of my chapters. And then I was off to the airport. I hugged Aunty - I cried - I felt so sad to part with her. But I was also very ready to go home.

Weep for the city
As I was flying back into Singapore, I looked out the window and saw the moon and the clouds - and then my eyes caught sight of our brightly lit city. Suddenly I started to cry. I remembered the one lone brightly lit deserted highway in Aunty's country. I wept because it suddenly hit me how the people there had no light and how much they needed the true Light of the World.

I remembered their pagodas. And posters that reminded the people not to take drugs etc. I remembered all the kind and gentle people who took care of me.

I remembered the white elephants I saw... Aunty took me a place in town to see the pride of their city - two white elephants. The creature were said to be sacred so we were not allowed to take photos. There was also a black one and another greyish one.

The majestic animals were under a very clean shelter. We could only see through a fence. They were chained to a very short chain. I felt so sorry for them. They could only walk two or three steps forward and then back. The just flapped their ears and walked back and forth, back and forth. They could not go anywhere.

I thought how I'd rather be an ordinary black elephant that's running free than a white one that's chained.

And I cried to think how the people who were beautiful were in chains. I prayed for the country. I remember how I told God that I had not attachments to the country, not like what I felt for the Philippines. I remember how I told myself - I'm not interested to see anything of the country. I just wanted to do my work and come home.

But this evening, I just cried for them.

When I turned on my phone, I found an SMS from EN, Aunty's cousin in Singapore. She was waiting to help me carry my bags and go home with me. She had come during my absence to clean my house. She wanted to buy dinner for me etc.

We prayed and thanked God for my safe trip. I prayed at length for their country. May God shine His light on them and set them free.

I still have several chapters to write.

The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
It has been an awesome trip.

Day 9 (Tuesday, 14 March)

I could die happy
We decided after the 18-hour bus ride experience that we would fly back to the capital instead. We still had a lot to work on and I didn't want to waste the hours. Besides, MP said the bus might break down and I would miss my flight! (It was ok if the bus broke down on the way TO KLW, but not on the way BACK!)

I asked Aunty how long the flight would take. She said 1 1/2 hours. Then she said, actually one hour if we used the newer plane. But this one is the old Fokker Friendship propellor planes. She said that they had them when she first flew in 1959 . And even then they bought OLD planes!

The taxi came for us at 7 am. We took about an hour to get to the tiny airport. Our bags were passed through a hole in the wall. Once we were checked in we went into a waiting area. I could see the air strip just outside.The propellor was very loud. I saw my bag being loaded on to the plane.

We were given seat numbers but when we got on board, they told us to seat anywhere we liked. Then they said, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on board flight.... please ensure that your seat belts are fastened, you seats in upright position and your window shades open."

My seat could only go on recline position! And the window shades could not be drawn down. It made me wonder if there was anything else that didn't work on the plane! Any how, I was happy we were not going on another 18-hour bus ride! I was seated near the wings so I could see the propellor spinning. It was thrilling.

The view of the skyline, mountains, farms, roads, rivers was awesome. I saw the sun in the horizon. Spectacular. I thought that if I died on that flight, I would be perfectly happy. It was an spectacular view.

Aunty picked up the inflight magazine. The slogan of the airline says, "safe flight, better service." There was an article about the Pearls of the Mergui Archipelago! Just two nights before I was writing the last chapter of Aunty's book. She said that the Mokens were to her the Black Pearl of the Mergui Archipelago - rare and precious. I said to myself that I would do a good research in order to write that chapter better. I didn't even have to look, God dropped it on my lap!!

(I didn't find any significant information on the Internet - interestingly - not anywhere as informative as the write up in the magazine! WOW!)

I was very grateful God brought us to KLW to work. I realised that it wasn't just for me -- Aunty has so many matters to handle in the capital, I was glad she could rest in KLW. She was so patient with me. Whenever I was writing, I knew she was there praying and praying for me.

When we got back to the capital, we went to visit E's family. I met Aunty's childhood friend, the one I had also written about in the book. What a thrill! We also made a quick visit to a neighbour's home to pray for her - she was very ill.

Aunty went back to her home to get more of her photos and reference books for me. I stayed at the hotel to write some more. By evening, we tied up everything. No more writing on the book till I get back to Singapore.

Day 8 (Monday, 13 March)

Electricity came on at 6 am! I found my torch.

It was a great way to start my day - after the horrible day yesterday. We made good progress with the work. I was able to get back on track. Couldn't finish the corrections, but at least I got the information right.

Day 7 (Sunday, 12 March)

The journey to heaven
MP asked me to speak at her Sunday School class held in her home. The children came from different tribes in the mountains. They ranged from 5 to 20 years of age!

I didn't have time to prepare a message but I could feel God's anointing. It was like He whispered to me line by line what to say next. MP interpreted for me. I used the bus ride to KLW to tell the children how going sometimes our journey to heaven is bumpy, uncomfortable. Many of them come from broken homes. But I said that Jesus walks with us - and He never sleeps like how Aunty slept on me!

I told them that we had KLW... heaven to look forward to. And the bumpy ride was worth it. I asked them to imagine a time line, and I said that I was already half mine. I said that even when we are old, we can still give up on the journey.

I challenged that they were just beginning their journey and that they should determine to follow Jesus and put Him first in everything. I said that if ever they strayed, they could always always come back to Jesus. I said that the only thing that would keep us away was our pride. Either we stubborn refuse Him or, we think we are too bad for Him to forgive. I said that also is pride.

I shared Galatians 2:20 - the children had memorised it already!

MP said that all those who were believers rededicated themselves and those who were non-believers gave her heart to Jesus.

A rare gem
We had arranged for me to have lunch with MP's key girl NA. I don't know if it was miscommunication or what, but we could not do it till after lunch. I kept thinking about the power supply... how I was losing time. But the 33-year-old young woman really wanted to have personal time with me.

We spent about 1 1/2 hours. I didn't want to rush her. I had to trust God that He would make up for the lost time. The girl's such a gem - such a heart for God and a tender heart for people. I admired her sacrifical life. I thought about the people I had in Singapore - we have so much - but mostly we just live for ourselves.

Who moved my goal post?!
After lunch I continued reading to Aunty. MP could not join us.

The later chapters were far more challenging to write. Many things happened simultaneously. I got the details and order mixed up. I was hard work for Aunty to recall. She would tell one story and then before she even finish, she would go to the next. And she didn't even start from the beginning! I had to ask and then write. Then I would read it back. If it came out wrong, I would had to revise it. It was tedious.

When I discovered I had misunderstood one point - it seemed like a small point, but it was extremely important. Because of one small error, I had to re-write or make major adjustments to one chapter. But that affect another chapter which affected another chapter! I was so upset with the whole thing.

I was so happy thinking I could return to Singapore with a completed manuscript. My goal post kept moving further and further away! I was upset with Aunty and was very impatient with her. She felt so bad and confessed her "sins" to God. It made me feel even worse.

I broke down and cried and cried. I was so pressed because the power was going to be turned off at 10 pm. I was afraid I would forget the details or misrepresent her. Contacting her after I return Singapore is extremely difficult. I desperately wanted to finish before coming home.

We left MP's home. We went to the hotel guy to ask if they could turn on their generator. There were only Aunty and I and another couple staying at the hotel. So they didn't want to turn it on for just the few of us. He said he would turn it on till 11 pm. But when 10 pm came, it was all pitch dark.

I was not prepared for the darkness (we thought we still had another hour). I could not find my torch light. They didn't supply us with candles and ours was about an inch long only! Aunty had a tiny torch. It was my worse day. I kept complaining.

Safe!
Then I discovered that the four windows in our bath room had not been locked. No wonder I kept hearing the windows banging when the wind blew. I didn't pay attention to it. I don't know what made me look that night. I was shocked because there were no grills nothing. I remembered that our bathroom floor was extra dirty, like someone had been walking in it. I thought that someone had stolen my torch.

Suddenly I realised that someone could have very easily came in at night to harm us or to take away my computer and camera while we went out briefly for breakfast at the hotel cafe (we were the only two customers).

Psalms 121:7 says, "The LORD will keep you from all harm— He will watch over your life."

Aunty started praying. What do you do when she starts that? I certainly didn't want to pray. But we did in the dark. We prayed a long time till I was tired. The last thing I asked God for was that my torch be returned.

Day 3-6 (Wednesday to Saturday, 8 to 11 March)

For the next few days, we did nothing but work on the writing, revising, editing, rewriting. The electricity circulated among the towns, so we had it...

6 am to 2 pm
2 pm to 10 pm
10 pm to 6 am

There was one day that there was no electricity from 2 am till 10 pm the next day! Whenever the power went off, I also shut down to get my human battery recharged.

Yawning competition
On one of the nights, Aunty and I were so tired. We had a yawning competition. But we were so determined to complete the chapter because electricity was so precious. Immediately when I completed typing in the last word, the power went off!

God paced us out - He determined when enough was enough. So God answered the prayers of many of my friends that I would get rest while there!

Prayer is work
There was a night when I was all geared to work. The power went off. I grumbled saying, "I want to work!" Aunty said, "We pray. Prayer is also work."

We relied on our real source of power... prayer. We prayed for many hours together. For our loved ones, friends, ministries etc. This woman really prays. It's hard not to be around her and have it rub off on you.

Fed by the ravens
Everyday, MP and her disciples took turns to serve us. They brought us all kinds of food they lovingly prepared. I especially enjoyed the fresh mountain vegetables. We got not only the main course, but also snacks and deserts. MP bought fresh strawberry from her friend's farm -- no chemical used.

Aunty and I were SO grateful we didn't have to think about where to go and what to eat. Aunty said we were like Elijah who was fed by the ravens.

Though it was hard work, I was very happy with the progress of our work. We had fun working together. Aunty said I made her feel everything she felt over the past 31 years. She said I put into words what she felt but could never put into words. I feel so privileged to see through her eyes, walk in her shoes, feel what she felt. I feel I know her so intimately.

Let's see who dies first!
On Saturday, I started reading the book out loud to Aunty from beginning to end to check the flow. MP sat in because she knows Aunty best. NA also sat in to listen. MP was amazed - she affirmed that it was Aunty's voice in the book and not mine. It was simple and clear. I felt so pleased. God gave me the gift of writing. I have felt His help every step of the way.

MP then said that Aunty had asked her 10 years ago, "When I die you take my journals and write my story." MP replied, "I can't write. Anyway, who's to know who will die first!" Aunty forgot she had asked MP to write, but God didn't forgot.

Sweet interruptions
On Friday night, four American ladies came to our hotel room to invite us for a meal. They were friends of MP and had heard about Aunty's work. I was under pressure to work while there was power but Aunty had prayed that God would protect our time and also to let us know when we should repond to sweet interuptions He might send our way. I'm glad accepted their invitation.

Day 3 (Wednesday, 8 March) - a real angel

We arrived at KLW at 6 am. It was an 18 hour ride!

Brrrrrrr....
We were greeting by the cold mountain air - so refreshing but brrrrrrrrr. MP's husband and son had been waiting in the cold for us for two hours! They came on their motorbikes. I was not prepared for the cold.

Her son took off his jacket and let me put it on. They put all our bags onto the bikes. Aunty sat behind the 20-year-old. She looked so dignified and lady-like - she sat to her side. Me, I got rode MP's husband's bike like I was riding a horse. Goodness, with my skirt.

I was so afraid the computer bag would fall off the bike. So I put my hands over Victor's shoulders to hold on to it. VP said it was safe, but I didn't want to risk it. It was a circus! The chilly morning mountain wind brew into my flapping skirt, through my blouse and chilled my whole body! My fingers froze as I held on to the bag. I was chattering.

When God promised me from Psalm 121:5-6 that "the LORD is your shade at your right hand the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night," I didn't expect that He would bring me to the cold away from the scorching heat of the capital! I was very happy to be in the natural aircon. It was dark, but I could see the silhouttes of the mountain ranges. It was gorgeous.

A real angel
When we got to MP's place, they took us to the guest room. We were given VIP treatment. MP wanted to give me something to eat but I told her I was still defrosting.

Then she gave me a sweater. I took off her son's one and put the one she gave me.

Fast forward to Sunday, 19th March... I was talking with MP when she suddenly asked me, "Oh! You brought a warm sweater."
I said, "No, this is the one you gave me on my first day here."
She said, "No, I didn't give you any sweater. This is not mine."
She asked everyone in the house -- her husband, son, helpers. NOBODY gave me the sweater!!!

The sweater fits me perfectly -- the size, colour, style.

Until today, it is still a mystery to us all where it came from. I took the sweater home to remember how I had met a REAL angel.

Anyway, after a cup of hot tea, I took a long needed nap. We decided move to a hotel when I got up because we found out that two days before we arrived, men in uniform had gone checking all the house. This has never happened in all the years that they lived in this home. Things have changed. Life was getting harder.

Day 2 (Tuesday, 7 March)

Aunty as usual got up at about 4 or 5 am to pray. We went to her home as soon as we had taken breakfast. What a thrill it was to visit the home I had written about!

She packed her bag for our trip (we couldn't do it the night before because there was no electricity. We took a light meal - I didn't dare to eat or drink too much because of the long 15-hour journey I was anticipating.

We met MP at the bus station. Aunty and I were going on the aircon bus. MP had one of Aunty's Sea Gypsy boys as her companion. He was going to stay at MP's home for a few months so she could help him with his English and also spiritually. The school on the island is only up to primary 4, so Aunty brought him to the capital to finish of high school.

Like sardines
We got on the bus at 12.30 pm - it was supposed to leave at 1 pm but they kept waiting to pack the bus full like a sardine can before leaving. They had installed folderable seats in the aisles. In the end, the bus left at 1.30 pm. I kept feeling like I needed to go to the toilet - I think I was feeling very stressed. Goodness, we hadn't even begun our journey!

The bus travelled at crawl speed. We kept picking up more people along the way. Although it was an aircon bus, I couldn't feel much of the aircon. It was stuffy. Their local music droned and droned - same beat, same rhythm. When the tape finished, they repeated it all over again!

It was a bumpy ride but I got to see a lot of the country and towns along the way. I told myself to try and sleep so that I would not think about the time. Every time I woke up, I looked at my watch - it felt like the time hadn't moved forward.

We only stopped at 6 pm for dinner - I took forever to get off the bus because I wanted to carry my heavy bag with my computer and camera with me. It was hard to have access to my bag, but I didn't feel safe leaving it there. We had a quick lunch which UM's wife had packed for us. I didn't have any appetite. We also rushed to use the crowded toilet.

No pee stops
There were NO pee stops. I prayed, "God you made my body, so please can you control it so I won't need to go." They screened Jacky Chan's movie, "The Medallion" (Wow English movie!) I was happy - it helped me to keep my mind off the journey. At the climax of the movie, the DVD didn't work. So they screen another English movie! There WAS a conclusion to the second movie :-)

The next stop was at about 11 pm. There was a long queue outside the ladies. Aunty took my hand, we went to the side of the toilet building. I checked the place out with my torch. We did it there -- I could SMELL that we were not the first to have that idea!

We got on the sardine can again. Aunty had made friends with the guy in the aisles seat. She witnessed to him. At about midnight, he called to Aunty's attention a deserted but brightly lit highway. I wondered what the big deal was. Then someone said, "Look! That's where all our power went!" I realised later that the deserted highway was lighted while the rest of the towns were in total darkness.

At about 2 am, the sardine can suddenly stopped. I heard lots of shouting. We were all ordered to get off the bus immediately - men in uniform checked our IDs and passports. There was a long line of buses - people were shoving around. I prayed that God would take care of my computer.

We got onto the sardine can - that was when I asked Aunty if I could go do my small business. By then almost everyone was on the bus. But I knew they would not be making any more stops. Aunty pushed her way to bus driver to ask if we could. The WHOLE bus had to wait for us.

We didn't dare to go to the bushes. We went behind a tree but it was in full view of the entire bus!! I felt embarrassed but Aunty said, "Never mind, I do with you." So she did!! I was grateful that I had taken someone's advise to put on a skirt. At least my butt was not in full view of everyone. But it was quite tricky making the maneuver. I was afraid to soil my skirt!

Those in the aisles could not sit down till we got back into our seats. Under stress I couldn't really do my small business. So again I had to pray that God would control my bladder!

I smell burning!
By then we started making our ascent on the mountain ranges. I could feel the cool mountain air. I managed to dose off but was awakened when I suddenly felt suffocated. The sardine can had stopped. The driver and his assistant went out for to smoke. Aunty who can sleep anywhere and anytime slept. I opened the window to let air in. I watched everyone sleeping.

Then I smelled burning! I looked at the sardine can and wondered how I would make my escape if there really was a fire. The jump from the window was too high. And there was no space to run down the aisles. I thought I might have to just climb over the people. I tried waking Aunty. She just slept on.

An American backpacker started saying, "I smell burning! I smell burning." I said, "Yes something's burning." But everyone just slept on.

Then I remembered Psalm 121 verse 4, "indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."

I prayed. And then a few minutes later, the bus driver turned on the engine and crawled up the mountain again. We arrived at KLW where they let us off. But not before we woke up three-quarters of the sardine can. They had put my luggage at the back seat, so we had to ask people for help to pass it to the front. We had to bend down to reach Aunty's bag which was under the seats. Aiyoh! Those in the middle row all had to get off their folderable seats to make way for the princess and her companion to get off!

Never a dull moment... Day 1 (Monday, 6 March)

I am writing this on board my return flight to Singapore. I will upload it to my blog as soon as I can...

Life with Aunty, or should I say with God, is always full of adventure. You never know what to expect next. You are kept on your toes all the time… it feels good to be alive! God blessed me with so many pleasant surprises.

God gave me Psalm 121 prior to the trip.

When I found my seat on the plane, a man came to me shortly before my plane took off. He asked, “Are you Angeline Koh?” I said, “Yes.” I wondered what I did that they were looking for me! He then handed me my air ticket. I had left it at the check in counter!! Wah, almost cannot come home to Singapore!

Verse 12 says, “The LORD will watch over your coming and going.”

Nothing to declare
I was greeted by the scorching heat when my plane touched down. It was a small airport. You have to walk down the plane, get into a bus to take you to the building. The swiggly words in the building left me guessing where to go next. I had filled in the immigration form asking me to declare if I was bringing above a certain amount of USD into the country. I did not know what to say – I was carrying money on behalf of someone else. I decided to be honest and state the amount I was carrying and hoped that I would not be questioned.

I got in the “nothing to declare” line but when the lady saw the amount I had written, she sent me to the other line! The officer asked me if I wanted to declare that amount. I said, “You mean I don’t have to declare everything? You mean I can change the amount?” And she said, “Yes.” So with her “permission,” I felt like I had the license to make the “adjustments” to my declaration form. I walked out of immigration wondering what had actually happened to me!

Verse 2 says, “My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

When I got out to the public area, I saw lots of people waiting… no one was waiting for me! I had five bags to carry (mostly stuff that were not mine – I was only a courier) – porters were trying to carry my bags for me. I didn’t want anyone touching them, especially not the one with my precious computer and camera!

I wanted to exit the building to see if aunty was there, but I was not allowed to push my trolley outside the building. Eventually, I decided to leave my trolley unattended and go outside to look. No aunty in sight! Only more people who offered taxi service to me.

I went back into the building to look for phone. But I didn’t have any local currency with me. The lady at the tour counter asked me if I had a contact – I desperately dug into my bag – believe it or not, I did not have the telephone or address of UM, the one who was supposed to meet me at the airport!! I only had another person’s contact – what a clever thing to do!!

(Actually, not my fault also lah. I wrote to UM but he didn’t reply – I later found out it was because his mail had been screened and by the time he got my email, it was too late for him to reply to me.)

I decided I had no choice but to trust one of the porters to look after my things while I went back into the building. I made sure I took a good look at his face and the big number tag he had hanging on him. The tour lady helped me call the only number I had – she was nice – she said I could pay her later when aunty came to pick me up. The person who answered the phone said aunty was on the way.

Boy did I pray!! I kept assuring myself that aunty would not let me down. I waited about 20 minutes in all. I wished I could take photos, but I was afraid of attracting attention and be a good target for theft. When aunty and UM finally came, I realised that I had told UM the wrong time! Aunty gave me some local currency to pay the tour lady and also the porter.

Four times the psalmist said, “The Lord watches over you.”

I know you!
Aunty brought MP with her… she introduced MP… and then I exclaimed, “Oh I know you!” She was surprised. I said, “I wrote about you!” I was so thrilled to meet one of the main characters in aunty’s story. We went to an aircon restaurant to have a drink. That’s when they asked me if I wanted to go to KLW, a mountain resort. They had gone ahead by faith to buy the bus tickets. But they said if I didn’t want to go, they would try to sell it back. We were supposed to leave at 1 pm the next day (Tuesday, 7th.)

Aunty said, “You won’t be going to the sea (to the island where aunty lives) but the mountains. They said it was a 15-hour bus journey! (The ride actually took 18 – but that I will tell later). After I said Ok –- I was still unsure if I had made the right decision. It was going to waste one day + exhausts me.

I found out that MP lives in KLW and hardly comes to the capital – she happened to be there because she needed to see the eye doctor + some family matters to attend to. When Aunty was praying early that morning, she felt the Lord telling her that we should go there to write and not stay in the capital.

Aunty said that she and MP had made arrangements the night before, then they parted ways. When Aunty got home, she received the letter I had written to her – she never got it till Sunday. She panicked when she read about all my mishaps, and how anxious I was, and how I had said, “I don’t want to go to the island, let’s stay put in the capital and just work at the hotel.”

Aunty tried to phone MP three times but could not reach MP. She woke up early on Monday, to try and stop MP from getting the ticket but MP had already left. Poor aunty went running around. Then she told her Lord, if He didn’t want us to go, then He should make MP not get the ticket. MP came with the tickets.

Battery operated computer
We checked in at the hotel and then went to UM's place to visit his family - his wife was another key person in Aunty's story. The entire district was out of electricity so we had to rely on torches and candle light. UM let me use his battery operated computer to send an email home so my family would know I was safe. Then we went back to the hotel.

We caught up with each other and then went to bed. I had just snugged myself comfortably in bed when the power went off. No aircon!! I suddenly felt suffocated. And then all my doubts about going to the cool mountains evaporated! As soon my doubts were cleared, the aircon went on again – the hotel had turned on their backup generator.

Then I remembered… verse 1 says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills” – God had already planned to take us to the hills even before I left Singapore.

Last minute thoughts and prayer items

This is written especially for the ladies in my BS group...

Hi ladies,
Can't send email from my computer -- the address book with your email contacts are in my notebook computer which I have already packed for the trip. So I'm writing to you from here...

I was up very early from all the excitement of the trip.

I did some last minute packing and found some important documents and papers that aunty gave me of her research among the people. I had read them prior to writing the book. But only this morning did it make more sense to me. They are so important! I almost missed them!

God is really in this project.

My body still feels not perfect. I think I wasn't looking forward so much to this trip (lots of fears), but now after looking at aunty's papers and notes to me, oh! I do miss her.

I got news from her cousin that Aunty had only just arrived at the capital from the island. So she had long travel too. Pray for us. They booked me in a nice hotel - not nice view but good hotel and close to where aunty's sister the doctor lives. And, it has aircon! Yaay - because I hear its very hot there. I shall hide in the aircon room.

I am also told to be prepared to teach/preach! Well, I don't know what the Lord has for me... keep praying.

Psalm 121 is a good psalm to pray...
(bold highlights are the words that ministered to me and text in italics are my comments)

A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
Do I ever feel I need His help!! He is in charge no matter where I am!

3 He will not let your foot slip—
How assuring especially when my ankle still needs a brace for support after I sprained it.
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
Been having short sleep - from overworking, over excitment, and yes, anxiety.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
Been dreading the hot weather... they told me it's very hot there.

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
Remember all my accidents and mishaps... this sure is a good comfort.

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

BTW, a side wish for my trip... pray for good rest. I know I am suppose to go there to work, but I hope to have rest too and to be refreshed. Pray too that they can find a good massager for me and that I can have it MANY times while there!! My body feels so tensed and tired. I feel like I'm using up my adrenalin reserves. Not good I think.

Well... I better stop writing now...

BTW, no access to emails or sms... while there. Remember what Aunty said, but we have an inbuilt handphone to the Father. So do use it alot... for me, as I will for you. See you when I'm back.

For my sake

The family's just left. Mum insisted on getting together before I leave. I told sis-in-law it was more for Mum's sake. Mum told sis-in-law it was for Dad's sake. Sis-in-law said it was more for my sake... to pray for my trip.

Ok ok, I confess. I really appreciated them coming over. And yes, it was for MY sake. I didn't think it really mattered. But it did. And I'm grateful.

HX said she wanted to meet me for lunch at the airport. I thought it was too troublesome for her. But she still wanted to because it was her day off. I am grateful.

Aunty's cousin arranged her nursing shift so that she could come over and stay the night so that she could help me carry the luggage to the airport. KS called to say he would take me to the airport.

I'm so touched.

Actually I told Father that I had hoped someone would send me off. I didn't want to bother anyone. Before JJ went to NZ, she used to insist on sending me off. One time she was the only one who went to the airport. I felt it was too mar-farn (troublesome) - but still she insisted. We argued over it. I knew she was busy and tired. But she did anyway.

I guess this time around, I really wanted to be sent off because I feel a bit nervous about this trip. Having had so many mishaps, going to a new place, still not feeling top notch fit to go physically...

Father more than answered my wishes. Yes, for my sake...

P.S. This will be my last posting till I get back. Please keep me in prayers. It will be difficult to have access to email or phone. Like what aunty says, we have a direct line to the throne of grace. Please please pray for me.

posted by narnianprincess @ 8:38 PM

God I'm thankful

Was fighting a bout of mild stomach upset and nausea yesterday. I think I really overworked myself the past weeks. Dawn's dad's passed away yesterday but I had to tell her that I would not be able to be at the wake for her. Sigh.

I've written my book as much as I am able to up to this point. I could feel my head just wanting to burst the last few days because I was thinking about it day and night. And even when I was tired, I still pushed myself to go on. I know it wasn't the wisest thing to do, but I really needed to finish whatever I could before the trip. Not only did my head ache, but my entire body started to ache too.

God was so kind to send Aunty's cousin and her friend. They're both nurses. They said they were not trained to give massages, but still they gave me one. Wow! It felt good.

God I'm thankful.

My head was still throbbing this morning, but I had to drag myself out of bed to see the eye specialist. I was thinking a lot of negative thoughts when I got up. Got some time with the Lord before I went to the doctor's. Father encouraged with with these thoughts from Proverbs 4 of the Living Bible.

Determination to be wise is the first step towards becoming wise! (v7)

I would have you learn this great fact: that a life of doing right is the wisest life there is. If you live that kind of life, you'll not limp or stumble as you run. (v12) I feel like I'm running now. So exciting a life... I struggle with these negative thoughts... these inclinations toward letting my old nature get the better of me. I must choose a life of doing right.

But the good man walks along in the ever-brightening light of God's favour; the dawn gives way to morning splendour. (v18)

Listen carefully. (v20) It's easy to not heed when God is speaking.

Keep these thoughts ever in mind; let them penetrate deep within your heart, for they will mean real life for you and radiant health. (v21-22) So appropriate given all the health problems I've been having the past months.

Above all else, guard your affections. For they influence everything else in your life. (v23) My affections, this is the place I am most inclined to stray.

It was good to press my "reset" button and get my focus back to my Father again.

The doctor said that the eye's looking good but she wants to see me again when I get back. She said it could still rebound and I was to continue my eye drops throughout my trip. I thanked her for treating me for free. She gave me a big smile and said, "it's my pleasure."

God I'm thankful.

When I got back from the doctor's, I found my house all cleaned. One of my luggage for the trip had been packed for me. The two nurses had stayed on when I left for the doctor's to serve me.

God I'm thankful.

I jumped straight to bed for an afternoon nap. Finally managed to start thinking (not quite started packing... still just thinking) about my packing for the trip. Couldn't resist the tempation... turned on my computer and was distracted but delighted to find ALC online. We had a 40-minute chat.

God I'm thankful.

Well, my head is still heavy, and I still don't feel so well. But God am I thankful.

Day 10 (Wednesday, 15 March)

Last tour
I didn't have any time to do any sight seeing. The only photos I took were ones I took while the car was taking me from one place to another. My purpose this trip was to write - and that was all I did. I didn't tour the place, nothing.

Aunty asked her nephew, our driver to take a quick tour of the places mentioned in her story. Her first flat, the university, etc. I was glad to see what I wrote about :-) She insisted we go quickly to the central market to get a few blouses for me. I got three :-) We got lost and had to pray we could find Aunty's nephew who was waiting in the car. I didn't want to miss my flight!

We stopped at Aunty's niece house briefly to do a quick interview for one of my chapters. And then I was off to the airport. I hugged Aunty - I cried - I felt so sad to part with her. But I was also very ready to go home.

Weep for the city
As I was flying back into Singapore, I looked out the window and saw the moon and the clouds - and then my eyes caught sight of our brightly lit city. Suddenly I started to cry. I remembered the one lone brightly lit deserted highway in Aunty's country. I wept because it suddenly hit me how the people there had no light and how much they needed the true Light of the World.

I remembered their pagodas. And posters that reminded the people not to take drugs etc. I remembered all the kind and gentle people who took care of me.

I remembered the white elephants I saw... Aunty took me a place in town to see the pride of their city - two white elephants. The creature were said to be sacred so we were not allowed to take photos. There was also a black one and another greyish one.

The majestic animals were under a very clean shelter. We could only see through a fence. They were chained to a very short chain. I felt so sorry for them. They could only walk two or three steps forward and then back. The just flapped their ears and walked back and forth, back and forth. They could not go anywhere.

I thought how I'd rather be an ordinary black elephant that's running free than a white one that's chained.

And I cried to think how the people who were beautiful were in chains. I prayed for the country. I remember how I told God that I had not attachments to the country, not like what I felt for the Philippines. I remember how I told myself - I'm not interested to see anything of the country. I just wanted to do my work and come home.

But this evening, I just cried for them.

When I turned on my phone, I found an SMS from EN, Aunty's cousin in Singapore. She was waiting to help me carry my bags and go home with me. She had come during my absence to clean my house. She wanted to buy dinner for me etc.

We prayed and thanked God for my safe trip. I prayed at length for their country. May God shine His light on them and set them free.

I still have several chapters to write.

The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
It has been an awesome trip.

Thank you Father!

Yaay! Only one more chapter to go!!!

Ok, ok. Don't celebrate too soon... I still have one more chapter to write -- and I still have to pull the chapters together so that they aren't like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Thank you Lord!! Wooohooo!

Final Lap

I am nearing the finishing mark of the first phase of my book. These last few chapters are the hardest to write. I didn't take very good notes - there was just too many details I couldn't keep up, my recorder failed me. Aunty and I were hard pressed as to how to backtrack after the almost one month interviews that I did with her.

Human and mechanic error have only made me more dependent on my Father's grace. I've felt His help through all these months of writing - squeezing time in between regular work, family commitments, projects, losing sleep. It has been most satisfying reading all that I have written - almost 80 A4-sized page, 1 1/2 spaced 11 point text.

Besides having to finish the remaining two chapters, I will need to write paragraphs that will pull the whole story together. Father showed me where the gaps are. After that, another phase of tightening up the text so that it reads solid, impactful.

I have often said, aunty's story is SO good. If this book fails, it fails only because the writer has not been able to pull it together. I feel so honoured that God should choose me to handle this precious task of His.

I look forward to the time when I can offer my completed labour of joy to my Father and to His children. May the Lord bless the work of my hands and prosper aunty's work among His people who do not yet know Him.