I had time with Jim the person who was instrumental in bringing Aunty and myself to get the writing project done. We had a good discussion. He told me to be prepared that the journey to the island would be very rough. He said that if it would help me write better, then I should go. But if it was not going to make a difference to the writing, that I should perhaps plan it after the book was published - kind of like icing on the cake to bring completion to my project.
I asked my Father what I should do. I actually woke up one night having nightmares about going to the island. I decided then that I would only see her at the capital for 7 days and not go to the island. My priority was to see her to get my manuscript checked and edited. Attempting the trip to the island would just take too much out of me and leave me with little resources to focus on the hard work of writing.
I went online on 26 Jan planning to book my stay there for only 7 days. The budget airline doesn't fly there every day so it was between booking myself for 7 days or 10 days. In the end I opted for 10 because the flights were scheduled such that if I went for 7 days, it would only leave me with 5 days to work on the writing -- too short. Immediately after booking myself on the flight, I could feel panic just running through me. The uncertainty of going really got to me. It was already about 1 am when I finished the transaction. I couldn't call anyone to pray with me to help me calm down.
So I went to my kitchen where my Bible and devotionals were spread on the table (that's where I spend time with the Lord everyday). I spent time with my Father, asking Him to please minister to me. The fact that the Lord had to keep saying "do not fear" to His people every time He met them encouraged me. I opened my "Streams in the Desert" devotional reading for 26 Jan.
It was titled, "
Waiting and Over-waiting." The writer had this to say...
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A great deal is said in the Bible about waiting for God. The lesson cannot be too strongly enforced. We easily grow impatient of God's delays. Much of our trouble in life comes out of our restless, sometimes reckless, haste. We cannot wait for the fruit to ripen, but insist on plucking it while it is green. We cannot wait for the answers to our prayers, although the things we ask for may require long years in their preparation for us. We are exhorted to walk with God; but ofttimes God walks very slowly. But there is another phase of the lesson. God often waits for us.
We fail many times to receive the blessing He has ready for us, because we do not go forward with Him. While we miss much good through not waiting for God, we also miss much through over-waiting. There are times when our strength is to sit still, but there are also times when we are to go forward with a firm step.
There are many Divine promises which are conditioned upon the beginning of some action on our part. When we begin to obey, God will begin to bless us. Great things were promised to Abraham, but not one of them could have been obtained by waiting in Chaldea. He must leave home, friends, and country, and go out into unknown paths and press on in unfaltering obedience in order to receive the promises. The ten lepers were told to show themselves to the priest, and "as they went they were cleansed." If they had waited to see the cleansing come in their flesh before they would start, they would never have seen it. God was waiting to cleanse them; and the moment their faith began to work, the blessing came.
When the Israelites were shut in by a pursuing army at the Red Sea, they were commanded to "Go forward." Their duty was no longer one of waiting, but of rising up from bended knees and going forward in the way of heroic faith. They were commanded to show their faith at another time by beginning their march over the Jordan while the river ran to its widest banks. The key to unlock the gate into the Land of Promise they held in their own hands, and the gate would not turn on its hinges until they had approached it and unlocked it. That key was faith.
We are set to fight certain battles. We say we can never be victorious; that we never can conquer these enemies; but, as we enter the conflict, One comes and fights by our side, and through Him we are more than conquerors. If we had waited, trembling and fearing, for our Helper to come before we would join the battle, we should have waited in vain. This would have been the over-waiting of unbelief. God is waiting to pour richest blessings upon you. Press forward with bold confidence and take what is yours. "I have begun to give, begin to possess." --J. R. Miller
***
I asked my Father for His special blessings and if He would encourage me EVERY DAY from now till I see aunty and return home. (That's how nervous I am!) I remembered in December 2004 how I had made a trip to Yunnan. I didn't have the money for the trip. Money came pouring in without my even asking! I told Father if only He would do miracles like that to show me that I had made the right decision.
Early the next morning, I called up my prayer partner KC -- I wanted desperately to be prayer for. Then she told me, "Come and look for me on Sunday, I will give you $200 for your trip." I did not call her for anything but prayer. I did not tell her anything about my request to Father. So God gave me a second encouragement that day.
Today, 28th Jan, I read a letter from the guest who stayed at my home two weeks ago. She wrote a long and detailed records of God's blessing to her in all the unknown places. And how my heart rejoiced that I have the same heavenly Father who will watch over me when I go to my unknown places. Well, I have 37 days to go before my trip. So I am expecting at least 37+10 (don't forget my time there!) more ways that I am asking Him to minister to me.
I was thinking about
Frodo Baggins who was given the burden and charge to carry the One Ring through perilous paths to Mordor. Sometimes I look at my own life... there is a little of the Hobbit in me... the spirt that wants adventure... a contradiction to the other parts of me -- "devout coward" (that's what I sometimes call myself )
Jesus said, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34).
May He find me faithful to the end.
P.S. I am going from in mid March. Please keep me in prayer.
