When I get older

Went for a medical check up this morning. It was so nice of HX to look for me at the clinic after her night duties were over (she's working in the same hospital). She really didn't have to, especially after working through the night. Nevertheless, I am deeply grateful. She went in with me when it was my turn to see the doctor. Of course we never told him that she was a doctor too!

When we walked out of the examination room, she made some helpful suggestions to me. It's a nice feeling to know that your friends are watching out for you.

The BS in the evening was called off because no one but SL came. The two of us had a nice dinner and talk.

I end today feeling most grateful for the people my Father sends to my life. It always warms my heart when I see old couples still lovey-dovey with each other. While I don't have a special someone (yet), my Father sends me many special someones at different times in my life...

For you younger folks... here's the lyrics of a very old song

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When I'm Sixty-Four

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now,
Will you still be sending me a Valentine,
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine,
If I'd been out to quarter to three,
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four

You'll be older too,
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you,
I could be handy, mending a fuse,
When your lights have gone,
You can knit a sweater by the fireside,
Sunday morning go for a ride,
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more,
Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four

Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not to0 dear,
We shall skrimp and save,
Grandchildren on your knee,
Vera, Chuck and Dave,
Send me a postcard, drop me a line,
Stating point of view,
Indicate precisely what you mean to say,
Yours sincerely, wasting away,
Give me your answers, fill in a form,
Mine for evermore,
Will you still need me,
will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four

Written By: (Sir) Paul McCartney
© Northern Songs LTD

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I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread. - Psalm 37:5

Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come. - Psalm 71:18

Behind the scenes

I don't think I ever followed up on what happened after my board said they would cut of my support of $***.

They did. They cut it off in July.

But here's the twist to it. Even before they cut it off, LCD whom I hardly know, out of the blues sent me a cheque for $**** (more than six times the amount that my board had cut off!) The cheque came even before the board support was cut off.

Anyway, I sent LCD a thank you note and asked if I could meet up with him and his family over a meal. (I wanted to thank him personally). The appointment never worked out as he was busy, and then I was busy.

Today, after more than five months, LCD beat me to it. He initiated and invited me to lunch with him, SL, his wife and their two sons aged 14 and 8. Of course he wouldn't let me pay for my meal!

It was so wonderful to get to know the family who has been supporting my ministry for more than 10 years (even though like I said, I don't know them personally!)

While waiting for LCD who had gone to get the car from the parking lot, I was able to thank SL for the gift. (Didn't get a chance to thank them at the meal). I told her how timely the gift was and what had happened.

That was when she told me that LCD was praying and my name came to mind. She said that God specially brought me to mind despite his tiredness. (He works till late everyday). God brought me to mind about the time when the board had said they were going to stop supporting me!!!

As if that wasn't enough, God also spoke to the board and though they had stopped giving me in July, they changed their minds and resumed giving in August. They even back dated and gave for the month they had cut off the support!

Huff... Puff...

Decided to join the gym again -- I told myself I'd do so when the bridge is up. My last membership at the one in Central expired. It's been more than a year!

The one I'm considering is a 20 minute walk from my home... membership's more costly than the one at Central, but well, the thought of taking 45 minutes to get there is daunting, particularly for someone who would rather sit in front of a computer or laze in bed to read a book.

No small miracle

I lost a pair of tiny 7 mm in diameter magnets that GVA gave to me as a gift. (The magnets are one of the health products that she has found helpful and been promoting).

I thought I had left them on my desk. For days I tried looking for them - I looked under my desk, in the trash, under my cupboard, bed... I kept thinking how forgetful I've become these days.

I know it's a small matter, but it was nagging at the back of my mind particularly because I had ABSOLUTELY NO MEMORY of what I did with them prior to losing them (except that I had left them on my desk). The fact that it isn't the first time I've misplaced things added to the irritation.

After GVA left, I made another desperate prayer to God to find them. I guess I was missing her and J after they left. And her little gift meant a lot to me.

God had reminded me again two days before GVA left about the promise He had made to me in August before aunty left...

...Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it. (Genesis 28:16)

I had come to the conclusion that it was IMPOSSIBLE to find the magnets. So I told my Father that it meant a lot to me that He would make them return to me.

Last night, I took out a pouch from my cupboard to get something from it; lo and behold, the two magnets were stuck to the pouch!! I had taken something that J (GVA's daughter) needed out of the pouch when they were staying with me. I didn't see that the magnets had got stuck to the pouch.

This isn't about finding my magnets as much as it is about God looking into such a tiny matter that means a lot to me.

And then as if that wasn't enough to prove His presence and care, immediately after finding the magnets, I distinctly felt Him telling me to take my flash light and shine it under my shelf -- I found my missing reading glasses!

God is in this place, and I KNOW it. Small to His Power, Great to His Love!

Forever friend

Went for the Story Tellers Showcase organised by the National Book Development Council of Singapore. It was fun!

I went with seven others. It suddenly crossed my mind when everyone was trying to introduce themselves to each other that they each represent a different cross road in my life...

• CN - my childhood best friend since primary 5 - that's a good 36 years!
• IT - my good friend from church since the 1980s
• GVA and her daughter J - from the Philippines (GVA and I become good friends when we met 12 years ago - early 90s)
• JJ - my ministry friend and co-labourer since 2001
• JL - my friend from the singles group - met her early this month

Not only has the Lord promised to be my Forever Companion, but He has lined my life with so many friends. I'm so very grateful.

It happens almost every time

Woke up at five this morning. Had to help see my two guests, GVA and her daughter J, off this. It happens almost everytime my guests leave that I get that empty feeling. GVA and J are the kind of guests that you wish would stay longer.

God is good - yesterday, the chapter from a book that I'm reading quoted that verse from Genesis...

Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it.

How real God -- it was the verse He gave me some months back when aunty was here, and I was anxiously anticipating her leaving. I've hung on to that verse since then. And there my Father was again yesterday, during my morning devotions with Him, reminding me that He is still with me.

G said that the moment she stepped into my home, she felt the presence of the Lord in this place.

It's back to "reality" for me again... I look forward to the next guests He will bless me with. In the meantime, and always, I will enjoy the companionship of my Father.

P.S. Hello's are often accompanied with Goodbyes... that's the sad reality of life here on this earth. But I wouldn't exchange the rich experiences of enjoying a friend even if the goodbyes can be painful.

Making good memories... addendum

I forgot to mention that my bro and sis-in-law paid for mum's and my trip. I had offered to share and pay for my mum's as they had to pay for their own family of five. But they said they had already planned for it.

God is good.

$ matters

Over the past year, things in the home have been breaking down from wear and tear. I've either tried to

fix them myself (plastering the wall, fix the clogged up sink) or
live with the broken things (handle of my cabinet snapped, or go without light) or
get a professional to fix it (service man to fix the aircon, light)
Sometime early this year, a major supporter was going to cut off my support. They would only continue it if I did more. (I chose not to do more and just trust my Father for my needs).

Recently I talked to a housing agent and also a financial planner. It brought to surface that my ledger has been such that it's been in-one-pocket-out-the-other.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been hosting some visitors in my home. I did wonder where the extra was going to come from for these expenses.

I think reality hit when I sat down to add up the figures. I have to admit I grew anxious for a while. Just when I was telling my Father, "where's the money going to come from?", an SMS arrived... "I would like to give you $__"

Then God also sent the boss of that electric shop to come over personally to check the light which his electricians fixed (don't know what happened it broke down less than a week after it was installed).

As I looked at my accounts again, it occurred to me that although it has been in-one-pocket-out-the-other, I have never lacked anything. In fact when that supporter said they would cut off my support, Father provided me with a big one time gift out of the blues to more than cover the shortfall. My Father reminded me that if He is able to provide a home for me, what is it to Him to provide for the maintenance of the home?

As I continue to serve others and to allow my home to be a refuge and shelter for those in need, my Father Himself continues to be a Home and Shelter to me.

P.S. There's been no progress with my book project for the past two weeks.

Making good memories

Just back from an overnight holiday to Bintan with my bro, his family and mum. The best part was being with the family, esp. the children. We played in the pool, by the beach, had meals together... every part was enjoyable.

My two nephews slept in mum's and my room. The older boy has taken to photography (like his aunt) so I've been encouraging him, allowing him to handle my camera and showing him how to use it. He has a good eye for what looks good. The middle boy brought his stationery and created his art out of paper clips for me. He said it was a surprise for me. The little four year old stuck with me a lot of the time. On the way there and back, she asked to sit on my lap in the car. She said she'd sit on mummy's lap when I got off the car.

It's the first holiday that we've taken together. I am valuing family more and more. Esp the fact that I have only one sibling left. My bro and sis-in-law insisted on paying for mum's and my share of the trip.

I downloaded the photos my nephew and I took. And savouring the memories. Aunty Esther always says to "try to live in such a way that when we are apart from one another, we only have good memories of each other."

We made so many this past two days. Thank you Lord for everything.

Enjoying the knowing

I was thinking how God has been doing special things and speaking a lot to me these days. Or maybe He always had, I just didn't hear Him very well.

I was thinking too that He doesn't always need to keep talking and talking to me. What I mean is, that there is a place for just being... just enjoying each other's company, in the absence of words. Lovers do that I think. They talk and talk, and then when all that needs to be said has been said, they just enjoy the knowing...

10 My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
11 See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."
- Song of Solomon 2