What a better way to live

I killed my computer mouse the other day when I knocked it off my table. That was the end of the poor creature. I went to get myself a new mouse. Not wanted to spent a lot, I got me a cheap one only to find that it didn't work on my home PC. I took it to my office and discovered it didn't work there either.

I decided at the last minute to go down to the shop to get it exchanged. But as it was a last minute decision, I didn't bring to receipt as proof of my purchase.

I didn't really pray, I just kind of wished it that the man would let me exchange it, though I thought it would too hopeful of me that the would entertain me. Sure enough, the man would not let me change it. He said I needed to come back another day to change it.

I would have normally fought for my rights as a customer. After all the price tag was obviously theirs. But somehow a little of aunty Esther had rubbed off on me I guess. I just took his answer as final and was about to leave when another salesman came to me and took the mouse from me. He then pointed me to the shelves where the mice were and asked me to go pick another.

I was really pleasantly surprised. It's nice to not have to fight for my rights and to let the Lord handle matters. I pray that the aunty Esther "magic" doesn't fade away.

Hey gals

Hey, it's nice to know I have a small following... thanks HX for even remembering the date of my last blog! I'm touched.

Haven't had too much time to blog the past week. But, exciting things have been happening in my life... some of aunty Esther's "magic" has rubbed off on me. Mostly, experiencing lots of healing in my life. But more, I am experiencing a greater level of dependence and intimacy with the Lord.

More when I am not so tired. I just wanted to say "thanks" that's all.

After the twenty day silence - part one

Feels like AGES since I last blogged. It's only been about 20 days, but SO much has happened. Here's a brief rundown of events...

Wed, Aug 30 (? forgot the exact date!) ALe moved in to my place. She's a ministry contact who's got a job here.

Sat-Thu, Sep 3-8 made an exciting journey to Thailand in search of aunty's sea people. We found them!

What an experience it was tagging along with aunty, leaning and learning from her faith. It was the most no-plan trip I've ever made. The handprint of God's leading was so evident... linking us with people, directing us when we lost our way, providing for all our needs, keeping us and our barang barangs* safe, and enabling us to accomplish our purpose.

Sat 10 Supposed to be Extended Time With God (ETWG), but the group ended up spending more time over lunch which SL had prepared. And then, of course I took more time than I said I would sharing all about my adventures with aunty. The TWG (no more extended :-) was good.

God is healing my heart.

Sun-Fri, 11-16 Went to our staff retreat with great reluctance for various reasons, but mostly because I really just wanted time to start writing aunty's story. Surrendered to the Lord and worked on my attitude. I asked Him to "surprise me" and He did.

• I had good time getting to know a couple of the staff that I've not had the chance to really relate to.
• God showed me that I need to change my attitude, speech, tone and body language when I talk.
• I learned that I am not a good forgiver. I want to change that.
• I learned new skills on how to respectfully expressing myself to older or senior people whom I tend to feel intimidated by.

Sat 17 Stayed at home all day - I miss being home!

Sun 18 Went to church. Had lunch with the family and then went to see Dad. ALe joined us.
At night, ALe got a call from her housing agent - she found a place closer to her office. My place is just too far for her to get to her workplace. After breaking the news to me, we finally found the time to sit down to talk - we had barely got to know each other, and now she's leaving.

My neighbour's kids came to my door asking for chocolates. This time the 12-year-old brought not only her two siblings, but four other cousins as well! I started talking to them. They ended up spending an hour at my house playing Uno, Jenga and Pictionary (or an adapted form of it). The youngest cousin is four. He was SO adorable - I felt like keeping him. Their visit was an answered prayer as I had been hoping for the longest time to connect with my neighbours. I pray this will open the way to connect with their parents.

Got an SMS from SC who wanted to meet a guy she knows. Mostly I just felt very grateful that I have friends who care.

* things in Malay

Awesome!

On early Tuesday morning, the day after aunty left Singapore, I woke up at some unearly hour of the morning with a strong urge to pray for KC and also the strong impression that I should call her first thing in the morning, as I have often done, to pray with her.

Tuesday morning came and I zipped through the day, completely forgetting that I was to call KC.

On Wednesday, I came home at about 7 pm extremely tired out from work. I went straight to bed without even taking dinner. At about 9 pm, the phone rang. I groped around to find my cordless phone. But by the time I got to it, the phone had stopped ringing. The caller ID didn't capture the caller's number.

I laid in bed, and suddenly the loneliest feeling overcame me. I really missed auntie. I started to feel anxious. I tried to calm myself down and remembered the things I had learned from her. I remember the stories she told me about the times on the island when there was completely no one else to lean on or talk to except the Lord.

The Lord brought to mind His word to me...

"Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it."

I asked Him to show how He was in this place, and to let me know it. I told Him, "Lord, it's just You and me here. I don't know how You are going to show me You are in this place. Please show me Yourself."

Then I remembered how auntie would spent hours and hours in prayer. And I decided I would channel my restless, nervous energy to interceeding for people. I had barely started praying when I remembered the early morning episode, and that I was to call KC. I jumped out of bed and tried to call her at home. The phone just kept ringing. Then I decided to call her cell phone, and that was when I realised that she was in Australia with her son.

Then KC told me that JN in New Zealand has been trying desperately to contact me. The PowerPoint presentation that I had made for KC to present to JN's group in NZ had been erased by mistake. And JN was anxious that I respond to her immediately in order to set up the meeting in advance for KC's arrival.

So I discovered then that the call that woke me up a few minutes ago was actually JN desperately trying to contact me! KC asked me to email the presentation to JN immediately. I logged on to the email only to discover that JN had indeed sent an email asking if I could sent it immediately!

So the Lord had a field day showing me how He was indeed in this place that I am in... He got JN in New Zealand to wake me, to call KC in Australia, in order for me to be told that I had missed JN's phone call and that I was to email the presentation to NZ!

Wow! Now that is an "auntie Esther kind of miracle"... and it's been happening to me many times since. I still can't believe it's all happening to me!

Thank you Jesus!

Anyone needs a plumber?

Woke up this sleepy morning to find my bathroom sink clogged up. The water flow had been getting increasing slower the past weeks -- rather a surprise since I had opened up the pipes to clear up the clog some months back.

I thought it would be easy opening up the thing to remove the crud as I had done it the last time... hmmm... it wasn't to be so.

I discovered another section to the pipe (funny I didn't notice it the last time). I decided to open it up since that was where the problem seemed to be coming from. First came the medium sized screw driver. Dismantling the whatever-you-call-those-things and removing the crud (very disgusting) was an easy enough job.

But when it came to putting it all together again... hmmm... suddenly I discovered that the simple job wasn't that simple all!! The jigsaw pieces didn't fit the holes any more :-(( Out came the big screw driver, the fan (I started perspiring), lots of rags (it was wet every where). Eventually I managed to clear the clog, but found myself with a leaking sink! Urgh!

I went to examine the pipe in the kitchen sink to see if there were any clues on how to fix the bathroom one. By then I was feeling very light headed from all the bending and standing up. I decided against dismantling the kitchen one to find out how these things were supposed to be put together (lest I find myself with TWO sinks to fix).

I thought about calling a REAL plumber...

I was talking to God as I was fixing the thing. The whole episode felt like something that's going on in my own life -- the terrible clog I mean. I thought about the past month that auntie Esther had been with me, and how God had allowed the time with her to clear up the crud in my own life. It has been a time of cleansing and repentance. A time of renewal and returning and refocusing on the Lord.

There are some things you can fix on your own. But there are some things you just need someone else to do for you. I'm very grateful that God loves me so much to intervene in my life and do some major cleaning up.

So anyway, the pipe is flowing fine now. I think I did manage to get the darn thing fixed (after about an hour!) I'll know for sure when I start actually using the sink again.

I think I've had enough of plumbing for now.

The same thought

narnian princess says:
been crying alot. i'm feeling so sad abt aunty leaving. she really helped me reconnect with God again in ways i didn't expect

TL (one of the ladies narnian princess mentors) says:
oh...

narnian princess says:
started crying two days ago liao!

TL says:
He allowed her to come so He can bless u and encourage u... How He loves U

narnian princess says:
yes indeed. i feel like i hardly know God - i think her presence was an answer to my prayer. i think there was an invisible block in my relationship with God, i din know it was there.

TL says:
yup, knowing her helps me see the God that Paul, Peter etc knows and speaks of in the Bible

narnian princess says:
you had a brief moment with her and you were so blessed. can you imagine, i hogged her for a whole month! she has really turned my life around

TL says:
actually princess, God has given u a month of aunty's time to "hold ur hand as u pick up and walk again". She's not god himself, just a faciliator that God has used. It's time u let go of her hand and walk on ur own, with just U & God Himself

narnian princess says:
good you shared that - i'm just blogging abt the same thot you just shared

TL says:
hee...

TL says:
He's turning me wise

Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it

Aunty Esther leaves in less than 24 hours.

I started crying three days ago when it hit me how much I would miss her and how much she has revolutionised my life. I didn't know how disconnected I have been with God until I saw how intimate she is with Him. She makes me long to know Him all over again. I am already feeling her impending absence in my life.

The last I felt so alone was when Chomper left last year. I cried alot. Then again in 2002 when the Lord called my sister home. Before that, it was in 1998 when I returned from the Philippines. I cried and wailed every night for a whole year.

Genesis 28:12 came to me two days ago, and it's been a recurring thought that has been ministering to my heart... "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it."
I looked up the context of the passage... Genesis 28...

10 Jacob left Beersheba and set out for Haran.

He had to run away because he had stolen Esau his brother's birthright. Esau was very angry, angry enough to kill him. So he ran out of fear.

11 When he reached a certain place, he stopped for the night because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay down to sleep.

I can imagine it might have been a restless night. God came to him in that context.

12 He had a dream in which he saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.

God assured the supplanter despite the fact that he had wrongfully, illegally seized his brother's rights...

13 There above it stood the LORD, and he said: "I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac. I will give you and your descendants the land on which you are lying. 14 Your descendants will be like the dust of the earth, and you will spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All peoples on earth will be blessed through you and your offspring. 15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Amazing that God would make all those promises to a thief!

16 When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it." 17 He was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."
18 Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. 19 He called that place Bethel, though the city used to be called Luz.

Jacob realised that the place of his aloneness was none other than the house of God, the very entrance to heaven. He later called the place Bethel, which means "house of God."

Jacob's statement later was most preposterous.

20 Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear 21 so that I return safely to my father's house, then the LORD will be my God.

Can you believe that? He said, "If... then the LORD will be my God."

This cheat, this supplanter/usuper had the audacity to place conditions on God. Jacob would go on in his old ways to deceive and to be deceived. At the expense of his wife and children, he manipulated his way to save his own skin.

God never stopped pursuing the undeserving deceiver. He wrenched his hip so he could no longer run (Genesis 32:25). It was the place of his breaking that Jacob saw the face of God and received a new name.

After aunty Esther leaves tomorrow, He will continue to be with me to comfort me. Despite myself, God is with me. I pray that He would open my eyes to recognise that the place of my aloneness is the gateway to heaven and the place where I will meet Him.