Wireless notebook

Hello to my "fans" who faithfully read my blog (don't know if anyone reads or not lah!)

I'll be switching to my "wireless notebook" for the next 12 days... by "wireless notebook" I mean back to pen and paper (in case you've forgotten that that still exist in this high tech age.) So no blogger for a while.

I'm off to the mountains :-) I may still be contactable by SMS or email - got to see how things are over there. Pray for us!

Two weddings and a broken heart

Attending two weddings over two days is not the smartest thing to do when one is still recovering from a broken heart. I would have given the weddings a miss, except that the two brides are special and I didn't want to not be there to share their joy.

I went to have my hair coloured and cut in preparation for the Yunnan trip and the weddings. The lady who washed my hair asked me if I wasn't planning to get married... I never gave her an answer. The truth is, if I had, I would probably have started tearing -- not a good idea when you're in a public place with mirrors every where! Sigh... I am still somewhat raw inside.

Catching up with friends is sometimes hard. They ask me how I am - and I say, "fine." I break out with exhuberance telling them all about my coming Yunnan trip... the truth is, I am still nursing a broken heart. There are days when I wish I could follow my illogical urge to... I wish I were not so sensible.

OK, here's my list of things I am thankful for...
God provided a ride home after the wedding at Yishun last night. I was grateful I didn't have to commute on public transport. It would have taken me an hour and half to get home. I was tired.

Not only that, but the ride He provided was a delivery van - I had to sit at the back like one of the goods... which mean that I didn't have to make small talk with the kind driver in front who was taking me home. I think I met my quota of meeting and talking to people at the wedding. I just wanted to withdraw. I was very grateful for the privacy.

My hair stylist decided that he would give me a special package rate for colouring and cutting my hair from now on. I think he realised that I had been trying to be thrifty by colouring my own hair (he couldn't tahan the terrible mess I made of my hair.) So yippeedo! No more need to struggle over my hair.

Another friend shared about her own struggles... it was sobering and helps me put things into perspective.

I was grateful to be able to pray, give support and counsel to one of the brides whom I used to disciple when she was a teenager. Although I no longer lead her in Bible study, it felt good to see our relationship still intact and that I still have a ministry in her life - I just play a different mentoring role now.

Well, it's a new day today... and I have loads to do before the trip...

The d-- -- -- thing doesn't work!

This past week, I spent more time on logistics than I really can afford...

I went down to Sim Lim with Anne to get an external hard disk. We couldn't find a common time to assemble it... (I didn't know you could ask the vendor to do the job for a small fee.)

I tried to fix it on my own, but it didn't work - I thought it was supposed to be quite simple and idiot-proof. I read the instruction sheet - as if the technical jargon was not difficult enough, the print of the text were soooooooooo small. I think one should use magnifying glass not reading glasses to read them!

Well anyway, I tried getting computer geek, Nigel, to help via the MSN/YM. You should try getting instructions sometime via chatline!

"Do you see the jumper?"
"What's a jumper?"
"You see a plastic thing - very small one..."
"Where got?"
Pause... look... and look... flip front, flip back, flip side, flip other side... (repeat a few times)
"Ohhhhhh... ok ok, I see it now. It's the one with a hole izzit?"
"Yes! YES!" (Very excited)
"How to take it out?"
"Use a pin or paper clip."
"Ok... ok... I try... errrr... cannot come out leh. What if force then break?"
"Huh?... haiz... cannot break lah."
Scramble. Use light force... use more force... scratch...
"Oops, I think that wasn't the jumper... I think that was just the plastic that covers the light."
"Haiz... next time just pay the vendor to do it lah!"
"How am I to know? AT said easy to do what!" (getting louder)
Pause... Longer pause...
"So how now?"
One hour later...
"Ok lah, I think I just wait for AT." (very defeated)

Well anyway, paiseh, two days later, Anne is here to look at it.
Wah liao eh... she also cannot fix.

So then, there I was, yesterday afternoon at Sim Lim again... vendor says, "Can assemble but must go to #05-19."
Thankfully that's still at the same building... Sim Lim.
I make friends with the technician. Butter him... "Wah, you're very good ah... easy to do when you know what to do. Hard to do when you don't... how long you've been doing it ah?"
"Eight years." (Very pleased)
"Can learn or not?"
"Can." (Even more pleased)
So there, my FREE or rather my $5 (I paid for the service) lesson on how to assemble an external hard disk into its "enclosure" (Wah, I even learnt the technical term for it.)

The guy fixes and formats it. And all looks well...

...till I come home to find that the DAMN thing still doesn't work
X:-(( urgh.

Haiz. :- / (speechless)

As if my day isn't full enough, now I have to rush back to the shop to see if I can get a refund for the D-- -- -- (ok ok, I better watch my language!) thing.

Akan datang... watch out for the next episode of "The Amateur."

No more Kway Chap

The doctor said, "Your results are negative."

"Errr... what does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that your heart is working fine."

Why do doctors say "negative" when they mean "positive"? It's worrying you know when someone tells you, "your results are negative."

So praise God... the results are POSITIVE -- blue marks for my heart...

But...

Red marks for my cholesterol... I didn't do so well here. Sigh... no more Char Kway Teow, or Indian Rojak, or Prata, or Kway Chap, or Kropok...

Next week, I pay a visit to the dietician. I will know for sure then exactly how hard I'll have to work to get my body in shape.

He hasn't stopped

The Saturday 11 Dec, 1.31 am SMS read...

"Thanks for card and concern. The Lord always comes through. We will continue our support till He says so. - JT"

JT is a fellow church member, my brother's primary and secondary school classmate, and a very special friend. I had got to know him better when we co-led in our young adults group in the early 80s. When I went full-time in 1988, JT started supporting me financially, and he hasn't stopped since.

JT quietly doubled his giving once, and maintained that amount faithfully.

When he got married, he wrote a note to say, "don't think that just because I'm married that we will stop. In fact, now you have two of us behind you."

Another time, JT asked me, "can I double my giving?" I laughed at his question -- he didn't need my permission to double his support!

When JT himself went full-time, he continued to faithfully maintain his giving to me.

Recently, JT lost his job because of an organisational restructure. I wrote him a note to tell him to stop giving as I was concerned -- JT has a wife and two daughters. That's when he sent me that SMS.

I'm teary-eyed just writing this.

A quick postscript

Ok Ok, I know I'm supposed to be in bed... just a quick postscript...

Got to know a couple of the M1 students going for the Yunnan trip. It sure helps me feel a little less intimidated by the so many new people I'll have to relate to on the trip.

I also got another gift for the trip :-)

Sleepless in Singapore

That's what the front page headlines of the TODAY paper said. The article went on to report...

...Tingyi is not alone in her struggle to fall asleep. The Singapore Sleep Society (SSS) estimates that between 20 and 30 per cent of Singaporeans — a whopping 800,000 to 1.2 million — suffer from insomnia in one way or another...

Where the insomnia is prolonged, and begins to affect a person’s daily life...

In Singapore, the three most common causes of insomnia are related to stress, anxiety and depression....

On the 7 Dec, Yahoo news and other newspapers featured a report...

Sleep Loss May Cause Weight Gain
By Kathleen Doheny
HealthDay Reporter

TUESDAY, Dec. 7 (HealthDayNews) -- If you're looking for a better way to control your weight, a new study suggests that getting a good night's sleep might keep the pounds off.

Lack of sleep changes the circulating levels of the hormones that regulate hunger, boosting appetite and a person's preference for high-calorie, high-carbohydrate foods, University of Chicago researchers report in the Dec. 7 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

Echoing other recent research that has found a link between lack of sleep and the risk of weight gain, the new study is believed to be the first to show that sleep is a major regulator of the hormones leptin, which tells the brain when it doesn't need more food, and ghrelin, which triggers hunger...

This insomniac woke up at 4 am this morning. Spend a good time reading my Bible and talking to God (yes, I'm talking to Him). Had breakfast, read some more, then jumped back to bed at about 7 am. Woke up at about 10 am.

It sure made a difference to my mood today.

Hmmm... maybe another step I need to take to help myself feel better is to get enough sleep... no computers (and blogging) till the wee hours of the morning... no TV...

Oops... it's past midnight now... Better go zzZZzzZZZzzzNNNN(oops)zzzzz

Another little accomplishment today

I managed to install the sound blaster card on my computer and install the software... yippeedo! The music is blasting away now! Wooohooo!

I still can't get my external hard disk running though even though I managed to assemble it. Oh well, one out of two is not bad for a non-technical person.

Last night, one of the SP gals LLH came over at about 9 pm. We talked till midnight. She asked me alot of questions about me. It was so good to recollect my journey. I did share that I was going through a rough patch at the moment. Sometimes I feel like giving up...

She said, "You cannot give up God already. You've gone through too much with Him."

Yes, that's right, I may be "mad" with God right now. Kind of like a "lovers' quarrel." I know when push comes to shove, I could NEVER give up my relationship with God. But shhh... don't tell Him... hahahaha... cheeky grin ;-P)

Coming back to LLH, if all goes as planned, she will stay with me from March 2005 - but not sure for how long... 3 months? 6 months? We'll see.

What is $500 to you?

Mum handed me an envelope early this morning. The card said,

"Enclosed is something we hope will help you in some way during your trip. Go with His blessings." - Love uncle A and aunty A

In the envelope was enclosed $500!

I had shared in my blog on 14 November how MC had given me the first "down payment" from God of more grace to come. Well, a few days after that, I had shared with HYeo about the first blessing. Then she said, "ok, I'm sending you something too."

A few days later, a card and cheque for $200 arrived.

Yesterday ELiew sent me an email...

"After reading your newsletter I will add another $50 for your trip to Yunnan." (This is on top of the gift she had already given to me for Christmas!!)

The total amount I need for my trip is $1080. I'm now short of $30! I'm expecting God to send far more than that amount so as to help fund the $6000 project that we will be doing for the Chinese people.

MM said, "What is $500 to you?" He asked me how many years I had been full time. I said, "16". Then he took out his calculator and did his math...

12 months X 16 years X my monthly support...

Wah!

He said, "And God will keep providing."

Amen!

Re-runs

Just got back from a speaking engagement at church. I was grateful the Ladies Group had asked me to speak - even if was at short notice -- their speaker couldn't make it, so they asked me. So what if I was second choice... plan B... Actually I wasn't even plan B, they just called anyone who was available!

Ok Ok, it doesn't matter. I enjoyed myself :-) Yes, thoroughly had a ball.

It was good to share about my ministry with the girls :-) I did a re-run of my message to the other church. Of course I tailored it to this this group. The 7 Nov group was to a youth group. This evening's group were all ladies 50 years and above. They didn't fall asleep! And several of them came to thank me, and even hug me.

It helped to remember how far I've journeyed... Tonight some light shone into my dark heart. It helped to remember the blessings... the girls... and people who have blessed me... yes, the things God has done. I choked for a moment when I remembered my recent disappointment and pain during my sharing.

I have to keep hanging on to the Lord even when I don't see light at the end of my tunnel.

Yep, sometimes its good to go over re-runs in our lives... to remember - the good things that is!

It takes getting used to

Went for my treadmill test this morning.

It takes quite a bit of getting used to when the receptionists or nurses start addressing me as "MADAM ____ ___" instead of "MISS____ ___."

How did THAT happen? Gosh, I suddenly feel so OLD!

Funny how you never realise that you have aged (matured? grown old?) until other people tell you so... they start calling you "Ah Soh" (aunty) instead of "Ah Che" (sister)... that will be the day when they start calling me "Ah Por" (grandma)!

I remember the first time it hit me some 10 years or so ago. One of the SHSS volleyball players had an injury. There were no teachers available to take her to the Poly Clinic. Teacher TSL asked me to help take the girl there.

When it was her turn to see the doctor, the nurse told the 14-year-old girl to "tell your MOTHER that she has to wait outside."

"MOTHER?!"

Hey, I still feel like a teen! What do you mean "MOTHER?"

While the girl was getting her foot examined, I sat in the waiting room mulling and mulling at what the nurse had mirrored back to me.

Hehehe... before I left the clinic, I went back to the receptionist and got my title in her computer CORRECTED.

I am MISS____ ___. Thank you very much!

Getting cleaned from the inside out

After ten months, I finally completed reading The Message Bible! My heart has felt the cleansing effects of reading God's Word. I still have a couple more months till the end of the year... I plan to read the New Testament all over again :-)

Short Messaging Service OR Sweet Messaging Service?

Every once in a while, one receives an SMS that is well worth storing in the achives of one's heart. I got two such SMSs today :-) Wah!

I got a sweet sms late this morning... sometimes its not just text in the message but the sender that makes it so special :-)

Then I received another sms from one of the girls in my Bible study group that got me teary eyed. We heard her full scoop in the evening when the group met... how God had been ministering to her... major break throughs in her life. I'm delighted no end. We have seen her through the worst. I'm looking forward to better days ahead for her :-)

What a fantastic day :-)