Somedays you win

Ting got two free tickets to watch "Cellular." It was exciting from start to finish... enjoyed the movie, enjoyed the company...

Even the ticket collector at the door was so nice to me... Ting got stuck at work and arrived a little late. Everyone had gone into the theatre. The Ah Chek who collected the tickets came to me several times to ask if I was going in. I said my friend had the tickets. He kept worrying I'd miss the movie and told me to call her... I told him it was ok, and that I really didn't mind waiting, that she was on the way. He was doing the pacing up and down for me :-)

One fella came out and asked me if I needed a ticket because he had a spare one. I said thanks and that it was ok, my friend was on the way. The Ah Chek chided me for not taking the ticket. He must have thought I was cuckoo.

Then he told me to go stand at the door and watch the movie from there!

Ting arrived just on time - we only missed the trailers.

Well, today more than compensated for the lousy day I had yesterday :-)

Just friends

This evening I closed a chapter in my life.

We had a heart to heart talk... Clarified our expectations and perceptions of the relationship. We affirmed and prayed blessings for each other. It was a score as far as our friendship is concerned. But no go as far as romance is concerned. We'll keep in touch and still meet - as friends.

I don't know what I am feeling right now. I guess it will hit me some time that we really ended it.

Living in a paradox

Looking back...

July - hosted Sandy and friends from New Zealand
August - hosted Joy from the Philippines; hosted Grace and Joey from the Philippines
September - Staff retreat in JB; hosted team of 12 from the Philippines
October - Fishing in Pulau Dayang; Coordinated Wency and Dan's visit; Helped out with consultation attended by about 80 delegates from Asia

All these amidst the on-going responsibilities at work. These have been busy but fulfilling days indeed...

But these have been days of much heartache and tears as well. Every day, I wake up ever conscious of how much I need God to help me face the day. I struggle to go to sleep at night and I drag myself out of bed each morning.

I must tired out my buddies with my mourns and groans.

It doesn't matter any more what I want or feel. It is what He wants for me that matters. I put on His joy (I have nothing left to give). I take on His agenda. I put aside mine, believing, if not by sight, then by faith that He does indeed love me and that His grace is sufficient for me. His purposes for me -- always good.

I wish my pain would end. I cannot make sense of what I am going through. I cannot see His purposes for me. I can only trust.

I am living in a paradox.